Twenty Five = 5 x 5

I'm not quite there yet, but close enough, soon enough. =)

Another cool read - 6 Things You Learn At 25.

Happy 1st May in advance! 

Wild Child

The Very Best of Enya - Enya

The truth is, I know what's wrong. I figured it out today. It's not emo - it's withdrawals. People say, knowing the problem, will lead you to understanding the cause of it, and that means you're on the right path to recovery.

Note: Not to worry. My withdrawal symptoms have absolutely nothing to do with substance abuse of any sort.

Doggie is down with another bout of allergy it seems. Please pray for him. And me too.

Doesn't help that there's so much to ponder upon, to act upon at the same time. Decisions to make, questions that need answers. So many times today I felt like a little child, so shield from everything, so protected, so safe. The need to grow up is so strong but yet the urge to become an adult is minimal.

I tell myself, you cannot be selfish. Even if you don't do big things in life, the least you have to do, is to be accountable for the things that you're called to do.

Prayer items: The general elections. Malaysia and its people. Leaders with the right heart. Colleagues. Friends. Family. Strangers all the more. And me. And doggie. For wisdom, courage and clarity. Health and safety.

Amen.

Crash Landing

Brace yourselves for impact.

Thoughts In Words

We (probably) are not as compatible as I had convinced myself initially. Not even vaguely close. Funny how infatuation works.

I understand that humans make mistakes and that we need to be understanding. But today's error I have no way of understanding. How is it that after confirming so many times - via emails, via text, that the message did not get passed on? I don't see how something so simple can go wrong.

I am not angry anymore. Just disappointed. Very disappointed.

Perhaps, I need to learn how to not be disappointed in others. After all, me being disappointed in them doesn't ensure that they'll stop making stupid mistakes, it doesn't make the world go around any faster nor will it make the world a better place.

Might as well save all that energy for something more productive. Like maybe, working on my resume.

But I am a lazybum!

When Words Make No Sense

Down - Jason Walker

Deep down, you know that it will be all okay. 

One day. Someday.

Ouch-ie!

Of course consequences are painful. That's why they're called consequences and not rewards you dum dum!

Fuzzy

It's all fuzzy. A fuzzy fuzz ball. Fuzzy fuzzy.

I'm Alive And Well Don't You Worry

I've always said - If you don't have anything good to say but complain and complain and complain, then you're better off just shutting it.

So that's exactly what I'll do too. 

You can't be a hypocrite by saying one thing and doing another right? 

HA HA HA.. Really Seriously

What It's Like To Be A Pretty Girl

Madness. Man, they're hitting all the right notes! /chuckles

Or, I am just really infatuated with the site.

Either way, have a great great week ahead everyone, lots of love.

Be With Someone Who Makes You Smile

幸せになりたい。 feat. CLIFF EDGE／Dear

Random youtube-ing led to this. =))

It's a happy day. For a lot of reasons. 

The Girl with the Dragon Zodiac

Yeah, it was in reference of the famous book title, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Not that I've read it, I want to though, heard it's a good read.

The girl with the superpower - the disarming smile.

She's much stronger than what people give her credit for. Both mentally and physically. And all that smiling, it's not meant to cover up hurt or to mask sadness, it is a choice to trust that things can be better, and will get better, as long as you try.

And the truth is, smiling does take up energy. A lot of energy. So sometimes, she gets really tired and that is when a recharge is necessary - some really good sleep.

After that, it's all rainbows and unicorns smiles again. =))

Bye, imaginary pet dragon, grow up well.

Double Posting, Couldn't Help It

My latest web addiction has to be Thought Catalog. Whoever who is behind it has quirky sense of humor. Or at least a sense of humor that I can identify with easily.

Why Nobody Ever Just Says "I Like You"

What can I say, I do suck at chess.

Tic Tac Toe

I have all the legitimate reasons to be emo. I am sleep deprived, achy and tired. And I have a tummy ache, I am thinking it's gastric.

But nope, I am far from that. Stay away you emo bug.

I am mighty pleased with the numbers I achieved this morning, 51.2kg's and 39.44 minutes worth of jog time! Oh yay! May have overworked my left ankle a little though, feels a bit wonky.

Work tomorrow. And convocation duty on Sunday. The odds that our graduating batch actually ends up reading this is low, but a huge congratulations to you all, welcome to the real world now.

My colleagues find me amusing and fun to tease. And I like that. Despite putting on my pouty face each time. It's nice to be a source of laughter and joy. I like it when people smile.

And nothing beats that happy feeling.

Hello Stranger

Stay - Hurts

I think I've been doing lots of things right the past couple of days. =)) *pats self on the back*

What a weird name to call yourself aye - Hurts? But while we're on that, it occurred to me how hurtful words can be, without the sender even realizing it. I say a tonne of stuff that I honestly don't mean to cause hurt, but when someone else says the exact same thing to me, that is when you realize, maybe I could have phrased things in a better way.

"Go home and think about it". Okay, I am thinking. But I hate thinking. "Sleep on it for a couple of days". I can't sleep if I have to think about it, thinking keeps me awake!

This morning, I mistook a bird for an aeroplane. Haha. I knew Hong Kong was soon, but not in 2 weeks kinda soon. Therefore I am gonna challenge 30 minutes tomorrow. If I can wake up. 

America's Cup Live Racing, *click*, some cool stuff to watch!

And I’m Free, Free Fallin', Fallin’

Free Fallin' - John Mayer

Listen to it with headphones on. It's somewhat zen to me. 

I had wanted to wake up and go for a run this morning. But my alarm didn't ring. Grrr. At this rate, I am not sure if I am gonna be able to whip myself into shape for Hong Kong. Doesn't help that I've never been on a j80 - Haha! The link/vid shows sailing in some extreme conditions, the conditions I usually sail in don't come close, so in other words, not as cool.

It looks slightly bigger than a platu, only just slightly, so I am hoping it would be manageable. Looking forward to HK no less though.

Strawberries and whipped cream, ducky and porky. Yums! :D Gonna make a winning smoked salmon sandwich tomorrow morning after completing that make-up run for which I missed today.

You dumdum!

Are You Trying To Tell Me Something

Because I am not getting it. Grr.

Keep Pushing Me - Gabrielle Aplin

Girl troubles! Acne, dry skin, cracked heels, weight gain, ugly toenails. Okay lah. To be fair, boys have such troubles too. Boo to the hoo. Sometimes I think I am more of a himbo than bimbo. Haha. Nevermind me.

If I remember about this tomorrow, there'll be Lawson post coming up. Only if it is still salient tomorrow though.

Sometimes it feels I am reading too much into it. At least that keeps me grounded. Somewhat. 

Thank You

For making me smile. =))

I don't know say. It's not that things have been difficult lately or that I've had a lot going through my head. But it seems that I actually look tired. Damn these eyebags. T__T

I do feel tired, don't get me wrong, but the good kind of tired. If that makes sense.

I am blessed to have the people I have around me. Such a strong support system. I feel that I'd never fall too badly, because there are so many people who'd give me a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on, and for the kind of faith they have in me that will just keep me going.

I love you all. Each and everyone of you. 

Sincerely.

Thursday Thursday, You Must Feel Sad

Because you're always compared to Friday who's everyone's favourite. But it's okay. I like you no less than I do Fridays. :D

Happy happy birthday Chai! Happy being a quarter of a century old. I wish you all the happiness, peace and joy that you can ever ask for. Thank you for being a great friend, but I bet you already know that one. /big hug

Mom (and I) conquered the kitchen in the evening. We prepared our own dinner which consisted of greens (with sesame dressing of course), beef and straw mushrooms. And it wasn't bad at all. And dinner wasn't even planned. We just whipped it all up, under 10 mins.

Domesticated woman for an evening we were.

I am tempted to have ice cream for dessert but green tea seems like a healthier option.

Why Am I The One - Fun

Imma go run jog tomorrow. 

I Want To Be Happy

I think everyone wants to be happy. It's just a matter of whether they want to openly admit it or secretly wish that.

At a lost for words today. Strange feeling. Made dinner though. =)

Will you make me smile, if I asked nicely?

The Mind Is A Very Powerful Tool

(updated)

Use it wisely.

I don't get it. Well, I do lah actually.

For the whole of today, I let my mind take control of my negative emotions and it all went haywire. Everything people did, everything people said, everything and everyone was against me.

I know it isn't so, but my mind made me believe it. And I hated it.

So it came to a point where I just went, screw you mind. Screw you. I am just gonna freaking screw you.

And then I became okay again.

Home is meant to be a place where one finds comfort and solace. That is what home is supposed to mean.

I can control my mind, but I can't control yours. I've done myself a favor, I've fixed mine.

Maybe you need some fixing too.

Thirty Minutes and Fifty Seconds

That's how long I ran for today. And then I decided to reward myself with instant noodles. Hahaha, the way my brain works.

It's been a nice weekend. Healthy, fun, predictable and just enough drama. I liked it.

Something that occurred to me over the weekend too was, do you have moments whereby you feel so happy that you actually feel afraid? Afraid of being too happy, is what I call it. And I think it's a real and legitimate fear.

I don't know about you. That's just me lah.

Let's look at some lineups next. Dinner tomorrow. I foresee dinners throughout the week actually. Cameron next weekend with the uni bunch, work, convocation, maybe sailing, then it's May. Let's look at May.

There's the labour day holiday (yay!), then it's Hong Kong, then there's the Wesak holiday (yay again!), and then the Organ Donation Run which I've signed up for. And then it's June!

And I shouldn't have to repeat this but what's happening in June? :D

It's my birthday! Teeehee!

Just Give Me A Reason

Just Give Me A Reason - Tiffany Alvord feat Trevor (cover)

This song has to be one of my current favourites. I think I prefer the original version more, but this is refreshing too. =)

On a side note, it's April already.

Happy weekend everyone!

The Question Is Not "To Say Or Not To", But "How"

I am sorry, but I find you really very hard to love. Nothing you do, seems ethical in my eyes. And people shouldn't live that way. You shouldn't make it so hard for people to love you.

If I were to die tomorrow, I'll probably regret not telling you that I like you. But if I did tell you, am I being selfish for not worrying about the consequences? I think so. Or maybe I am just afraid that it's not going to be a fairy tale ending.

Harmless is a good one. I like that adjective. No one has ever used that to describe me. I really like the sound of it.

What good is a pretty face, if your heart stinks? Food for thought. Also what I keep telling myself whenever I have evil thoughts. And if you don't know me by now, I do have a wee bit of narcissistic streak, hence the pretty face bit I say pretty confidently.

Alive - Krewella

Disturbing music video, but catchy!

It Hasn't Been A Fantastic Day

I won't lie. It hasn't.

If I were to describe my day on a chart, it'd look something like this:

But it's so easy to focus and lament on negatives that we often get so drawn into the bad that we eventually drown in our perceived misery.

Why can't we give a little more credit to all the tiny good that occurs along the way?

Yes, there was a peak in the morning, and I wished I could have ridden on the high for a little longer, but hey. My parcel from A Fashion Story arrived, and I am pleased with my purchases. My sponsored kid from World Vision sent me a drawing of a flower. I had Boost Juice, and fried squid for lunch. I have awesome colleagues. I made decent conversations. I sat on a swing.

So the conclusion is, yes, it hasn't been a fantastic day.

But it's my choice to live it differently.

Being Special

Or at least the need to be. Oh gosh. Outgrow it already. It's about time.

Yousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckvyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuck.

Meh. Testing my patience. There's more to it than the surface.

Itchy nose! Booooo why!

Out of sight, out of mind. Thought it worked. It did work. For awhile. But grrrr. Why.

Internal locus of control, come back to me. Dye my hair pink?

Please? Haha!

I Like You - Thought Catalog

You need to read this.

I Like You

No, I change my mind.

Everyone should read it.

Save The Last Dance For Me

Give My Love - Edward Chun

All the radio stations were simultaneously playing ads on my drive home from work so I decided to plug my phone and play songs I had saved in it. And tada, this played.

I remember how much I love love love this song. So much so I watched the entire drama because I was so in love with the song.

And I still am. Some things don't change. But a lot of other things in life do. English version! :D

What do I feel? What do I feel? Heart, speak, brain, decipher!

Today is one of those days I want to wish upon a shooting star. Not so much for my wishes to come true, because realistically I know they won't. But it's just because I want to see some beauty, the kind that words cannot describe.

Emo? Neh, not quite. Just a little sentimental today. Sending love to all.