Reason why I am awake at this hour. No, it isn't insomnia. I was fast asleep until the little brother called me because he was locked out, for a good reason. It was 3 freaking o'clock in the morning.
Okay, maybe it is insomnia, because I can't seem to go back to sleep since.
Because it's year end, I can't help it but be reflective about the year and being reflective means thinking. Which was why... It doesn't matter, not all things have to be said.
This whole new year, new hopes, new outlook, new whatnot thing is really overrated. Way too much of a cliche if you asked me. But, if it somehow tickles your fancy, who am I to judge.
All I have to say is pretty much, goodbye, and it's hello.
The whole thank you speech thing is also highly overrated. We should be thankful every other day, not just on the 365th/ 366th day of the year! But I'll say some anyway, since falling asleep isn't working too well for me at the moment.
For those of you who have been reading or following my blog, a big thank you goes to you of course, for accompanying me (in a very weird and non-physical manner) throughout the past year(s). :D
For those of you who don't read my blog, I'll save my thank you for when I see you in person because if you're not reading this, you won't know I am thanking you anyway. #makesperfectsense
Photos are all from Christmas lunchie with the family
So... I have also done my list. We shall see how that goes. We can hope and pray and wish and cross our fingers and toes for the next year to be a good one, but really, it's what you do that counts.
So do all you can, to make it good.
Here's to a great year ahead, to going round the Chinese zodiac calender twice and to being a year older and wiser, and of course beautiful-er too!
This was really tough. Took me longer than the previous list, guess it's because it's future related.
I could've easily written 50 things, i.e, learn to scuba dive, learn a new language, go on a hot air balloon ride, fall in love etc, but these are more of a lifetime bucket list than a new year resolution list. The whole point of new year resolutions are so that you actually achieve them and not write them for the sake of writing them. So here goes...
Travel to 2 countries/ places I have not been to before.
Submit applications for Masters.
Invest in hair care treatment.
Bake a cake.
Wear a dress once a week (unless special circumstances).
Wear heels once a week (unless special circumstances).
Red highlights for the hair before mid year.
Do charity work / volunteer.
Go for a full medical check up.
Keep my hair super long.
Get a new pair of glasses.
Re-start up HELP Sailing Club.
Use a satin pillow case.
Buy a satin pillow case.
Do something nice for one person (or more) each day.
Smile and say Good Morning to the first person I see every day.
Go climb Mount KK.
Get a second opinion on the wisdom tooth.
Drink more water.
Play volleyball.
Not use work as an excuse to not sail.
Go fly kite.
Go for a picnic.
Do something crazily spontaneous, like an impromptu trip somewhere.
Try something completely new, can be anything from food to a new experience.
Make 10 new friends and remember them.
Eat more fruits.
Finish watching everything in my external hard disk.
Read up on NPD.
Either read and return The Lucifer Effect, or return it without reading anyway.
Only make promises that I can keep.
Quit impulse buying.
Do the sailor nails, this! Only at Beauty Base! For my birthday maybe hmmm.
Avoid showering late at night if I can help it. Non quantifiable items
Lappie's power button is getting wonky. Please don't fail me. Probably should lug it to the HP service center already. :(
Heng's coming home and leaving for Langkawi as soon as he gets back. :(
Looking through fashion mags and spotting Emma Watson with her pixie cut is making me wanna try it too. :/
Coming up with the 50 things I will do in 2012 list is harder than I had expected. :/
People come, people go, some stay, some leave, some come back, some don't. :/
It's the happy season for sure! :)
Course counselling is tiring, especially when the people are energy drainers. Nice people are fine, they're nice. :)
And it's only gonna get worse.. as the new semester approaches. I am scared for the new year already. :/
I don't like it. I don't like it when I feel this. When I feel that I am being robbed of my own friends. It's jealousy. And jealousy is bad. Jealousy go away. Friends are meant to be shared, they don't belong to you.
Walk a thousand miles, just to see her; But she's far far away; Walk a thousand miles just to see her smile again. - lyrics; song. :)
That gives you a thousand. And a thousand is a lot.
1. I didn't know this was Twilight's theme song.
2. Christina Perri has some pretty tattoos.
3. I love love super love the candle(s) scene in the vid... So pretty.
I love Celine Dion, she's one of those power houses who always will be. One of those singers who will never fade away as time goes by. Just such an impressive power.
It's amazing how much comes back to me everytime I sit in my parents' car because they always play Light and Easy on their radios. I went for bf with the daddy this morning. Pappa Rich, I am not particularly fond of that place, it serves okay food but for some reason, it's just not some place I'd go often.
Anyhow. We had this "discussion" about what it is like to be in the real adult world, and his conclusion was that I am not ready for it yet, my thinking is too theoretical, too right and wrong, too black and white for me to "fit in". See, that's what I don't get...
Shouldn't it be that the more you grow, the more you know, and therefore the better you are at making life decisions? One example I brought up during the discussion was, if a person cannot afford to have kids, then don't make babies.
It's too bad if you're poor, but you cannot afford it, don't have a kid and make your kid suffer. Worse still, it's funny how the world operates, the poorer the people, the more kids they have. Well, the reason to that if you used logical deduction is, the poorer the person, the less educated they are, and also the more time they have so therefore, low education + a lot of free time, what do they do? Make babies. -__-
Anyway, that's beside the point. The point I was trying to make was, be responsible for your own actions. If you know you cannot be responsible for a certain thing, then don't push it. This, applies to everything in life. Of course, there are certain risks that needs to be taken in life, certain boundaries to be crossed and certain limitations to be explored but the bottom line is, be responsible.
Be a responsible human being. We are granted the ability to think, some more than others but all capable nonetheless.
I don't know. Dad thinks my thinking is too idealistic, likened that I see things through some perfectionist lens of that sort. Maybe I do. Maybe that's what I wish it really was. And maybe that's what I am trying very hard to believe. Maybe I am just too protected, I live in my own bubble, I believe what I want to believe and maybe that's what makes me such a difficult human being to be with.
I believe this is what some people call being a snob, being arrogant, ignorant and selfish, hypocrite maybe even. Grrr. I admit to being fifty percent of each at least. Points for not living in denial.
Not that I am proud of it... Sigh, I only wish I were a better person. I shall work towards becoming a better person. My promise to myself. Then I can proudly tell people to be better people themselves. Baby steps, baby steps.
I am currently working on a 50 Things List project. Can you guess what is it about? It's 50 Things I Did in 2011. I am now at number 31, will publish it when I hit 50 items. You, whoever you are reading this now, you too should write that list, and when you're done, start on a 50 Things I Will Do in 2012.
It's been a sloppy week at work. Both performance wise and attire wise, even attitude wise. I think it's some sort of a chain reaction kinda thing. Dress sloppy, feel sloppy, perform sloppy. It does make sense if you think about it. Maybe I should propose another Dress Up Week, next week isthe week after all.
Funny how I interact with students who for the most of it are older adults and yet because of my work scope I categorize them as kids. Wonder what would it be like if I were to return to school now. Identity confusion for sure.
Everyone I know seems to be doing Langkawi. I have a feeling even some non-sailors who managed to wiggle their way through will also be there, not that I have anything against it, but just sayin'. So although I know full well that it's not possible, I checked AirAsia anyway. And tickets aren't too expensive..
Ai Li Ng, no means no lah.
I am generally not a library person. For my whole three years worth of undergrad, plus one year of college so four years in total, I can count the amount of hours I spent in the school library with all my fingers. Literally. -__-
But as I saw this, I told myself, I am going to make damn sure I further my studies in one these places. The libraries are gorgeous!
Some are a bit creepy lah, but same are just, amazingly gorgeous. I can almost imagine myself spending all the time in the world in the library. Time to focus on earning money to go study soon! =)
I am going to attempt to show off my Chinese skills again, or not.
Anyway. Hair hasn't been doing too well lately, super worried I might go bald if this continues. Mandy suggested to try alternating shampoo on a weekly basis, think I'll give that a go and see if there'll be any improvements. Otherwise, it's so long to my efforts of trying to grow it.
And it can't be stress, because I am not. Maybe it's my dietary intake, Ivy says, too much salt could be a cause too.
Feels like a sore throat is underway. Go away!
Just got back not too long ago from yumcha with the uni mates. Initially I had doubts about whether or not I'd come home feeling happier than if I were to not go. I was tired. Glad I went anyway...
... really hope that April Koh Samui trip works out! /cross toes because I cannot be crossing my fingers while writing this
I am fully recovered from my food poisoning episode. It's evident from the amount I have been eating today. -__-
Had to invigilate some quarantined sheep students for 1.5hours today. The following was the exchange between Ivy on her comp in the office and myself on my smartphone.
I edited the conversation to make it more applicable to the general public, ie, you right there.
Be entertained.
"Nvmd, all the lost sheep came back d"
"Can I tell them they are not allowed to talk to one another, they're super noisy and they're all eating their lunches in front of me!"
"And what time am I supposed to bring them to their next shepherd ah?"
"Oh crap, one of the sheep just left the room while I was sending you the earlier message!"
"Okay nvmd, lost sheep just returned."
Ivy proceeds to say,
"Just tell them to BaaBaa quietly lah" and
"You can make an announcement, If you would like to wonder to the next barn, please inform me first."
I found it highly entertaining, this whole thing. Still made me smile re-thinking the whole scenario now.
It's been a relatively cold day, downpour earlier and had a serendipitous moment staring out the window along the corridor. It's so easy to feel contented with life. Just watching the rain fall outside, and if I hadn't need to worry about being fired, I would've gone and played in the rain and came back to work drenched.
And best part was, I wasn't the only one thinking that.
Drizzling slightly now, perfect weather to call it a night.
1. I have just cashed in my second ever RM 50 cheque from Nuffnang! Happy me!
2. I suck at cooking Maggie, my goodness, complete fail in the kitchen. It was so bad I didn't even finish half of it. Noodles were too soggy and I put too much water. Least my maid had a good time laughing.
3. And btw, Maggie (above) was my first solid meal, make that food, since dinner on Saturday night. I am kinda liking this no appetite thingy, but worry not, it's not gonna lasts very long.
4. And it's okay. I have got it all figured out. I'll just find someone who can cook really well and will love me so much that he'll cook for me all the time without complains.
5. People at work are just so cute. Have you heard of the nom nom nom song? And I was introduced to a Bubbles game today which we keep in our shared folder, and my manager had subsequently re-named Bubbles to Don't Play Play.
6. Little brother(s) are the sweetest things ever. One left me a super duper cute wallpost and the other called me up at work to check on me, which reminds me, I am supposed to call him back.
7. I need to learn to utilize my phone more. But I can't help it that I like old school pen and paper / keeping a diary!
8. Prom is in 7 days, Christmas party is in 8 days and Christmas is in 12 days! Excited!
9. I am actually relatively proud and happy of myself lah. Yes, I will always wish that I were taller, slimmer, prettier, fitter, smarter; I would always think if only I had tried harder, if only I had worked harder, if only I had been a better person... and it goes on. But the bottom line is, I may not be the best, I probably will never be, but I guess I am just one of those complacent human beings. I am just happy being normal, happy being the average girl next door. If that makes any sense.
10. I am thinking very hard right now but there isn't a number 10. So that should be it for today. Hope everyone had a relatively decent Monday!
"Have you been feeding my dog?"
"No" was the response.
"Liars go to hell."
"Well... actually...."
So by right, I don't think I was harsh, because lying isn't right. And secondly, this isn't the first this issue was being confronted and this also isn't the first time the lying occurred.
I am in pain. For real.
Think it's likely food poisoning. Since I Googled it and I am having all 6 of the symptoms. Frankly, going to the toilet every other 30 mins, I am pretty okay, I'll just take it as detox. But the headache, the headache that comes along with it, is really not welcomed. Hurts like hell.
It says to not drink any milk / caffeine or eat any solids for the time being. Fine by me, appetite is zero anyway, how rare. I will drink more water too, for those of you who were going to advice me that, I can take care of myself.
Sore about missing my facial and IPL appointment though. I was really looking forward to both. I hope I will manage to slot in another facial appointment before the 19th, prom and Jeremy's wedding dinner which falls smack on Christmas day.
Still no prezzies under the tree, that's not nice...
I hope I'll be alright by tomorrow, there's lotsa work to do, and I think I may have just started growing fond of the place and its people.
The love hate thing with glitter polishes. They are so pretty right but such a pain to remove. But because I am a girl, pain is nothing. College Fashion's Top 5 glitter polishes, click here, so so pretty! I want I want.
I was invigilating 2 papers today, Forensic Psych was one, the other paper was Quan Methods. So so boring, but it's extra income, so I shall not complain. Speaking of invigilation, it felt really weird today. The difference from being a student taking exams to being the person invigilating exams. If only that's a good enough sign to indicate that I have grown up some.
Also, gosh, I am a terrible student lah. I read through the question papers after the exam, and for the life of me, I don't remember learning anything that was in those papers. How did I even graduate, it's a miracle in itself. If I had to sit for any of those papers today, I confirm fail.
Also I was flipping through the new academic brochures, the booklet thingy that 'sells' our programs and boasts of our top achievers, many of whom were classmates, some are good friends. People are achieving so much in their lives, scoring perfect grades, going above and beyond, everyone becoming somebody.
Made me feel a tad lousy about myself lah, boohoo, especially after the realization above, that I was not, am not that bright a student... Le sigh ~
My bangs have grown, long enough to be poking my eyes. Should I attempt to trim them myself? It is as simple as cutting a straight line if you think about it.. Ahhh yes yes.
Also! During invigilation today, because there was nothing else to do but stare at the poor students overworking their brains, I noticed how most girls have long hair; that would be 9 out of every 10 females. So.. not unique lah! At that moment, I was thinking, I am gonna do a Emma Watson, snap it all off in my next salon appointment.
Uhh, so wordy today and I am sleepy. I think it's because I haven't had any caffeine for the past 2 days. And I have been eating too much, tummy bulge yuck. Gotta do some proofreading..
One last bit, why are there ants crawling on my bed?! Can't be that I am that sweet lah right? :D
Dear Eyes, stay open. Dear Stomach, you're not getting any dinner tonight. Dear Heart, always love, never hate.
Had an awesome dinner with Geng and Nicky, definitely ate too much, way too much. Maybe that explains being tired, brain has been helping the stomach to digest food.
She's real pretty. So pretty that I wish I was her.
Didn't wanna post today in fact, but somehow, being tired, I just felt like blabbering.
If I don't hate a person, I'd be friendly. But I really think that people need to understand that being friendly is just being friendly. Don't come too close just because I am friendly. I can't breathe, and I will end up hating you.
Pink finger nails and green toe nails. To think I once was against pink and green going together.
Invigilation tomorrow at 7 freaking 30 am! Which reminds me, I don't know what am I supposed to wear. *proceeds to text colleague to find out*
Secret Wish... Perfume by Anna Sui. Christmas cum New Year gift from then lecturer now colleague.
Need to drink more water.
I hope I wake up tomorrow...
Eyes are shutting. Good night world, have a great weekend everyone. Love lots.
"Psychology is the science of understanding people".
My wallpaper. Too cute lah.
Can't remember where I got this from. I hope I don't get sued.
I have been reading some Psych materials the past 2 days, some work related, some for leisure. More often than not, I want to understand people. I want to know what you're thinking, if only you'd tell me.
On hindsight, please don't play mind games with me. I don't like it, my brain doesn't like it either. It's either you say, or you don't.
Bestie said, You look good. /insert big smile
I was updating my students' list today. And it was an easy job (relatively), doesn't require much brain power, just very very tedious. So Ivy gave me her playlist to listen to while I was ems-ing away. And at one point, this song was playing...
Okay, drinking on a Monday night, defo not the best of ways to kick start the week, lagi lah a work week. Least it was fun while it lasted. The after effect though was just bad, like horrendously, painfully, almost tragically bad.
Note to self (and the rest), no more drinking on a Monday night during a work week. And the colleagues are just fantastic people. Really a big part of loving my job is due to the people I work with. I hope no one leaves any time soon but that.. really is beyond my control.
Oh well, life goes on. And people move on.
Talk about ego boosters. I haven't had any ego boosting for quite some time already, it's totally unhealthy; totally explains why my energy levels have been so low lah! I used to have a steady stream of ego boosters on a regular basis lah, wonder what happened to all my sources, where have they all gone too.
Nevertheless my point is, I had some over the weekend, teehee! Happiness.
