Maybe what I need is to be far away from everything. And everyone. Just for a little bit.
I am not trying to victimize myself. Not one bit. If anything, I know I am blessed. Maybe the issue here is that I know that I am too blessed. And therefore I need to stop asking for more. Stop being greedy.
The things I do, the things I say. The people I care about. The things people say. The things people do. All of it, is making my head spin. Gah, I am not asking for sympathy. But why does it sound as such.
And as usual, I always say, posting here ultimately signifies me wanting attention. But it's really not that either, at least not this time.
Maybe it's because I can't make sense of things. Can't tell wrong from right. Can't think straight. And therefore I need you to be the judge. To take over for a moment. But who are you to do so?
(Note - you here just means whoever who's reading this, it's not a particular someone).
I'll have to get a hold of my senses soon. Because this is a terrifying state to be in. Where I feel I am in control but at the same time, not too sure what is it that I am in control of.
Humans are strange. And so am I. Just like everyone else.
Run - Epik High
I love this song.
Yes is no and no is yes? What in the what? Head spins and spins and spins. I am seeing what I am seeing but I can't make sense of it, of any of it.
Best to stay away. Keep a safe distance. Until I regain my sanity. Till then.
1 comment:
So someone is about to grow "older". Or not. Not long ago, my supervisors told me that it is when questions arose, people will then have the chance to grow. Those teachings, to be honest, don't really benefit me much just yet since I'm too young for them, perhaps someone else will.
Right and wrong, yes and no, all of them are the products of the norms. In other words, they are subjective enough. Hence I've never really thought of them seriously. Pointless IMHO. People change when time passes by, and so is the value of right and wrong, opinions on yes and no. For every decision, some will mark it as an appropriate one, while some claiming it to be an awful one. If everyone is siding with the supposingly "wrong" options, then, will the options still be a "wrong" one? Doubtful enough. There is a reason why psychologists have this new joke towards the new DSM-V, "So now, it is no longer about being psychologically healthy or not. It is now all about what kind of psychological illness you got." Those codes do guide us, shape us, teach us. But how we live with them is the true test for everyone of us. Passed it, and you will gain a level.
Living as a colony, humans do rely on one another. To survive, to move on. No matter how much I've hated this fact, it is an inevitable phenomenon. As much as we sometimes, do need someone else to temporarily pilot our life, most of us dislike it. The conflict grows larger when we are questioning the validity of the substitute. Soon enough, I've realized if what is suppose to happen can't be change, so why should I bother much. I might as well utilize it to the max. Yes, everyone can become the 2nd, 3rd in-charge of life, free to judge, unrestrained to evaluate. Some may not be convincing enough in doing so due to the qualification. But the most important point lying within isn't all about the qualifications or the validity. Ripples are the thing I'm looking at. Via ripples, one can measures the water; its volume, its density, its "depth", its "width". Hence what is causing them, no longer matters.
Words from junior can be insignificant (I might even be older than you but still I'm the junior), comments from a stranger is even worse isn't it? How to value is then totally up to you (for example you can even flag this post to be inappropriate since you do warn others to stay away from you and yet a clueless greenhorn is trying to get into your way ). Apologize for my English (my 3rd language after all. Could have done better in Chinese, but would you be able to understand? Hmm). And ignorance as well.
ShinHwa - Once in a Lifetime (there is also an English version) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znxvcHy0f9A
A latte and a nice song will be a good start of the second half of the day, don't you think so?
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