Life Is A Funny Thing

Don't you think?

What do you do when you don't know what to do.

Pray.

It's Not Just Any Friday

It's Good Friday.

Wedding. Playing dress up. Friends. Smiles. Heartfelt wishes.

So much good in my days lately.

So much good.

Today Is A Happy Day

I still am in the habit of refreshing my page until I like what I see.

Today, I think I can be happy and proud of myself.

For all the things that I have done right.

:D

You Are Popular

You Are Popular

You're the type of person who's always been happy with who you are. You feel both intensely alive and totally at peace.

You are a study in contradictions. At times you're stubborn, but you're also willing to roll with the punches.

People gravitate toward you. You are bold and self-assured, but you are also totally unpretentious.

You are a joy and blessing to be around. People love you for being you!

The Nail Polish Test

The First Rule of Blogthings Is: You Don't Talk About Blogthings

So says Blogthings.

Just How Big Do You Think This World Is

I still have yet to watch 3 Idiots. Maybe over the weekend or something.

My hands are really dry. It's shedding skin period again. Lotion doesn't seem to help much but I'll just keep applying anyway.

The Woman I Love - Jason Mraz

I was randomly blog browsing last night and can't remember where I read it but it was about top romantic moments one appreciates / looks forward to. So I thought I'd come up with my own list. Here's my Top 10 in no particular order.

Stargazing together.

Watching fireworks during special occasions and holding hands in the midst of a huge crowd.

Being able to sit next to each other and each do our own thing, not talking to each other but appreciating each other’s mere presence.

Cooking a meal together.

Enjoying a walk along a quiet and serene path. I imagine a beach setting but I reckon anywhere would do when the time comes.

Giving and/or receiving random gifts that don't have to costs a lot but you know that some thought was poured into it.

Him holding your hands when you're out with his friends.

"Good morning beautiful" and "Good night sweet dreams my dear" texts.

Going on a hot air balloon ride together.

When he brings you home and tries his best to ease your nervousness by assuring you that his family will love you no less than he does.

I will catch you if you fall. Sing that to me.

Brain, Please Don't Conjure Fantasies

You know.

There are days whereby you wonder why is it so difficult for people to keep to deadlines. There are days where you feel inadequate. And there are those where you can't help but compare yourself against others. And those days where all you need is a hug. And days where you know you have lots to do, but yet not want to lift a finger. Days where it's bright and sunny, but cold inside. And some days where you tell yourself, you're good on your own, you don't have to compare. And days where you can't quite decide what emotions you are feeling. Or days where you listen to Avicii playing although you're not exactly a fan. Or days where you feel most comfortable wearing that huge baggy sweater. Days where you look for an important email but can no longer find. Days where you don't find pink as awesome as it used to be. Days where you don't feel like eating ice cream.

Throw all the above into one bowl, and that's pretty much my today.

Contact lenses completely dried my eyes out. Even if I were to open them floodgates, there isn't enough moisture left. I'll stick to nerdy specs tomorrow. Some say I'm cute in them, I shall trust people more. LOL

I think mascara makes me upper lids heavier than usual. Because it took twice the usual amount of effort to keep my eyes open. I wonder how people wear fake lashes. Not heavy meh!?

I think I know what I'll do tonight. Hot tea, maybe strawberry. And watch the 3 idiots. And I wanna cuddle up in my blanket, but that would mean air-conditioning required. But I am against the idea of aircond. Hmmm fickle fickle.

How would you know. Kiss. And tell.

I Think I May Have Shared This Before

Wanted - Hunter Hayes

You know I'd fall apart without you
I don't know how you do what you do
'Cause everything that don't make sense about me
Makes sense when I'm with you

Like everything that's green, girl, I need you
But it's more than one and one makes two
Put aside the math and the logic of it
You gotta know you're wanted too

'Cause I wanna wrap you up
Wanna kiss your lips
I wanna make you feel wanted
And I wanna call you mine
Wanna hold your hand forever
And never let you forget it
Yeah, I, I wanna make you feel wanted

Anyone can tell you you're pretty, yeah
And you get that all the time, I know you do
But your beauty's deeper than the make-up
And I wanna show you what I see tonight...

When I wrap you up
When I kiss your lips.
I I wanna make you feel wanted
And I wanna call you mine
Wanna hold your hand forever
And never let you forget it
'Cause, baby, I, I wanna make you feel wanted

As good as you make me feel
I wanna make you feel better
Better than your fairy tales
Better than your best dreams
You're more than everything I need
You're all I ever wanted
All I ever wanted

And I just wanna wrap you up
Wanna kiss your lips
I wanna make you feel wanted
And I wanna call you mine
Wanna hold your hand forever
And never let you forget it
Yeah, I wanna make you feel wanted
Baby, I wanna make you feel wanted

You'll always be wanted

But ohwell, no harm melting time and time again.. :D

Maybe Ice Cream Too

Nope, there is no way in this world I am letting my day end on a bad note today when it started out so strong.

Work this morning was interesting. For reasons I find hard to put into precise words. But the gist of it is - who knew lending a listening ear could mean so much to someone else out there. It didn't even require me to break a sweat or go through thick and thin, wasn't an ounce of hard work. And yet, simply by listening and not judging, it made someone else's day better.

Life is so much better when I am happy and when others are happy too.

I have always held onto the believe that people who want to be in your life, will do what it takes to get into your life. And people who want to remain in your life, will do what it counts to stay in your life.

If they don't want to, naturally they'll slip away, as time goes by. It's only natural that way.

So I often do my best to get into and then stay in the lives of those who mean something to me. But I also get that sometimes, they may not want me there. The sad truth about life, not everything is reciprocal.

I am a Psychology graduate, not a mind reader. You have to tell me what you feel, or what you think. I (think I) can read behaviors better than the average human can because we are trained to do so, but your behaviors contradict each other. I don't get it.

Also, I am not the brightest bulb, ie, I can be pretty dense sometimes. I need things to be told to my face before I will actually get it. And I told you so, to let me know if it ever becomes too much because I wouldn't  know. In my world, I am just doing my best. In yours, I could be borderline irritating already.

I think this is called getting a taste of your own medicine. Hahaha, for all the times I was on the other side of the fence. Payback time aye?

The not quite facial and the smudged pedi probably isn't the real reason behind all the angst, probably more of a trigger than anything. But ohwell. I'll displace the frustration wherever I can for the time being.

The Croods tonight, that should help.

Mr Superman, Are You There

Boo. It's Friday again.. No plans this weekend though, well actually, there are plans.

Superman - Five for Fighting

I have always liked this song.

As I age grow older, I am developing more new allergies. First it was towards some seafood, now even duck meat? You have got to be kidding me!

As much as I can't stand this song anymore, it reminds me of you every. single. time. it plays on the radio. =P

Even Heroes have the right to bleed, even Heroes have the right to dream. Heroines too. Love to all!

The Idea Of Making Sense Out Of Something That Doesn't

Blank. Sleepy. Physical intimacy.

Mommy forgot about me and about our dinner plans! So I had leftover sweet sour porky with two spoonfuls of rice and some greens with sesame dressing! Imma gonna have ice cream and a homemade latte once all of what I've just eaten settles into my tummy.

Why does your stomach make noise?
Because there's a baby alien inside.

Hee!

The most amusing thing about this though is that I could totally see myself repeating this in future, in 10 years from now, or 20, when I eventually become an Aunty Ai Li to the kids of my friends.

Today's pick - this, this and this!

It poured like mad in the earlier part of the evening. But the rain has stopped and the air is fresh. But for some strange reason, I have decided to go with air conditioning tonight. Thinking of wrapping myself up in my thick blanket, watch a movie maybe and reminiscence about things and also to think about what is and is to be.

Because I genuinely like a lot of things.

You Silly Silly Girl

It's astonishing how much we have in common. I've already established that we were similar in many ways. But this, really seals the deal for me. I am convinced we could be sisters from different parents.

Simple words. Yet meaning runs deep. I've genuinely missed those words. Still do actually.

Ingrid marathon on Grooveshark at work today. Today's picks were - Turn To Stone, Into You and Corner of Your Heart. Love!

I need to work out more. I could do with some weight loss. I'd be so much hotter I'd like to be fitter in general. Run with me!

Hong Kong in May is really happening. With the recent turn of events though, a small part of me is starting to regret it ever so slightly. But hey, it's a choice to make negatives into positives. And if it really doesn't go well, this can be the last.

"I hope you always find a reason to smile".

There is this one photo with that caption that I have saved as one of my screen savers on my work desktop. Today in particular, I stared at it for longer than usual, and probably without really realizing it, I had said a quick prayer - I do really hope you will always find a reason to smile.

Monologue: Laugh at me lah, laugh. It's a good thing I am comfortable in my own skin and that I have healthy esteem. And I like that people find my quirkiness cute.

These days, when I close my eyes, I don't quite know what to think. I am (again) in that phase. Time will tell though right? Perspectives, come to me.

I'll be a quarter of a century old this year! /gasps

Points For Attempts To Be Subtle

Message received. Subtle approach, in my opinion, wasn't necessary but thanks for the extra effort nonetheless.

So many little things that kept planting smiles on my face all day today. For all of it, I am thankful, grateful, and glad. For you were there for me, I will be there for you. And for when you were not there for me, I'll be there for you still. Because that's what we're told to do.

Heart Attack - Demi Lovato

I like this girl. And I like her songs too.

It's all falling into place now, bit by bit.

The Things People Say

"You cannot be friends with everyone sometimes. Sometimes you have to choose, take your pick." I am taking my pick. And that is to do what friends would do.

"You're so tiny, I couldn't see you." Yeah right.

"Ai Li Ng, you're a lot darker now." Thanks. It means my tanning while sailing has been successful.

"You look nice today." Thanks. I do appreciate compliments when it comes from the right people, I do.

And B Stands For

Bipolar.

Life Is Not Bad, It Really Isn't

But this post might reflect otherwise. I don't know. In a state of absolute conflict, or is that what people call it?

Maybe what I need is to be far away from everything. And everyone. Just for a little bit.

I am not trying to victimize myself. Not one bit. If anything, I know I am blessed. Maybe the issue here is that I know that I am too blessed. And therefore I need to stop asking for more. Stop being greedy.

The things I do, the things I say. The people I care about. The things people say. The things people do. All of it, is making my head spin. Gah, I am not asking for sympathy. But why does it sound as such.

And as usual, I always say, posting here ultimately signifies me wanting attention. But it's really not that either, at least not this time. 

Maybe it's because I can't make sense of things. Can't tell wrong from right. Can't think straight. And therefore I need you to be the judge. To take over for a moment. But who are you to do so?

(Note - you here just means whoever who's reading this, it's not a particular someone).

I'll have to get a hold of my senses soon. Because this is a terrifying state to be in. Where I feel I am in control but at the same time, not too sure what is it that I am in control of.

Humans are strange. And so am I. Just like everyone else.

Run - Epik High

I love this song.

Yes is no and no is yes? What in the what? Head spins and spins and spins. I am seeing what I am seeing but I can't make sense of it, of any of it.

Best to stay away. Keep a safe distance. Until I regain my sanity. Till then. 

Word

Hmmmmmm.

I Really Want To Be Bulletproof

If that's not possible. I want a shield. A protective one.

Today is one of those rare days in which I want to be a princess. One that people will place in the middle of their palms and protect with their dear life.

But I am not that fragile am I? I won't allow myself to get to that stage anyway.

Tear ducts are loose. Boo to the hoo. I am just tired.

Let me be, just leave me be. Just for a day.

Insert Whale Emoticon From Whatsapp

HAHAHAHAHA! My day cannot get any better. Seriously.

Whoever you are, I appreciate it.

Would You?

Walk an extra mile so that the next person could walk one less mile?

I realized it's a bit out of context when I just put it that way but I am a little reluctant to write the whole thing but the gist of it is, would you, for the sake of others, sacrifice yourself?

I know the right answer should be "Yes". The rational and smart answer would be "It depends". The selfish answer would be "Never".

I would 98% of the time, go with "It depends". Much thanks to sanity but I do feel and hope that I can slowly learn how to be more willing to sacrifice and to offer help with no condition and not let my decisions be contingent upon outside factors.

Anyway, today (and tomorrow, and the day after) will be a struggle to complete subject files. And the best part of it is that I keep getting distracted.

My mosquito netting is eroding, probably time to get new ones. My room probably could do with a ceiling fan, for better ventilation, though I have survived the past 10 years with lousy ventilation.

The whole no expectation, just go with the flow concept may just be the best thing ever. It applies to a lot of things in life. But it will always get to a point where expectations start to develop, no? I guess that's the scary part. But for now, let's just have zero expectations and go with the flow.

Time for some greens with sesame dressing! Yums..

Thank You

For an awesome weekend. All of you, who had a part in it. /love

Friends. Three Little Pigs. Saree making. A little touring around KL. Publika - Coffee Stain, Rakuzen, Coffee Societe. Church. Public transportation. Ben's @ KLCC. MPO. Juice Works. Rain. Surviving in heels. Baby Aiden's (Jeremy and Sandy's firstborn) full moon. Happy text(s). Happy people. Smiles. Lots of nom noms. Tea.

Goodbye weekend, thanks again for being kind.

I Have A Confession

I have a crush. But it's not quite working out the way I had hoped it would. And I know I've said that I won't post things on my blog as if I were talking to you, but I promise, today, will mark the end of such an occurrence.

So this is to you.

For abruptly not talking to me anymore, and for (in my train of logic) making my heart beat faster unnecessarily, I would like to tear your hair out, poke your eyeballs, kick your ass, and throw you into the sea to feed the fishes.

What I meant to say really is, it is time for me to put those feelings into a pretty little box, tie it with a pretty ribbon and store it away. And when someone else comes along the way, I shall repeat the same process and of course hope that I won't have to get another pretty little box again.

It's been said that you're happier now. I like to think that it was me who helped achieve that but that's just being conceited. In any case, I pray and hope that you'll continue to be happy and that you'll always find a reason to smile.

So, for all that has and has not happened, I suppose a thank you is warranted. There were some good stuff which I believe has made me into a better person, and of course, the memories will stay with me for a good long time.

So, that's the end of one tiny little chapter in my life story. On with the next!

I had a crush.

Are You Now?

7x70 - Chris August

I've heard this song before. But I didn't know what it was about. Now I do. It's about forgiveness. I shall always remember that bumper car analogy. Life is a lot like playing bumper cars, someone bangs into you and you are tempted to reciprocate by hitting back, but it doesn't have to be that way.

If it is symbiosis it can't be bad right? =/

On a different note, I really wanna find out why are you not talking to me anymore. Though I probably know why but I think I would like to hear it directly. Then maybe I can ask what I've always wanted to ask. But ohwell.

Sometimes in life, there are people whom you just like talking to and spending more time with. It doesn't necessarily have to be anything special but you just don't mind them lah, simply put. Some others though, it's not that they're not nice or that they're not worthy, it's just.. you feel less compelled to spend time with them or, on them for that matter. Is this called taking people for granted?

I can't help it though. Hmmm. I am terrible that way.

Saturday's been really good. Sunday looks really promising too. I hope your weekend has been kind to you too thus far.

/heart

I Really Wish

That said, some wishes are best kept to oneself. I can wish and smile to myself at least.

Don't Run Away - David Archuleta

I already shared this on Fb, but it's so swoon worthy I am gonna share it again!

Next To You (cover) - Joseph Vincent & New Heights

I wrote an email asking for advice today. And man did I get some awesome reply. Sometimes, we just need someone else to be our eyes for a bit so that we can see things from a different perspective. I am glad.

That should be it. I hope you enjoy both the songs as much as I do! Love lots!

49 Days Ago

I am just being random.

I Need Someone - 7eventh Time Down

I heard this in CzipLee earlier, and I liked it, and so I thought I'd share it - "I need someone to carry me, someone who believes in me". Full lyric here.

From thought catalog - The people you will fall in love with in your 20's and The real reasons I'm not texting you back right now.

I hope Hong Kong in May works out.. /cross fingers cross toes. And Singapore in June too.

There really is only so much I can do before I myself think I am becoming irritating. Makes sense?

Post Sailing Blues

Gone are the days where I wake up, think about what to eat for breakfast, go sailing, complain about pain, physical tiredness, bruises and cuts, more sailing, occasional checking out of other sailors, scream and yell at each other on the boat, scream and yell at other boats, more sailing and then think about what to eat for dinner and how much alcohol to consume, socializing and sleep. Hahaha!

Anyways.

FB friendly photos click here. High quality free for all photos click here.

What's important today, may not be as important tomorrow.

So live and let live! =)

The Sun Sets Everyday

Battle scars. Princess complex. (Uneven) sun kissed tan. What were you thinking. Coffee. Salted egg squid. Marmite pork ribs. Noms. Work. Counting calories. And so on.

Welcome back! :D

Ng Ai Li, Ng Ai Li

Aiyuh, pengsan. Won 3 out of 5 matches yest. More to go today and then it's home and back to work.

Love Makes People Stupid

Therefore I think I probably never really wanna be in love. No thanks to stupidity.

Today, I said, "Sorry I am weak". The response was, "Don't worry about it. You're not built to the standard size of a trimmer anyway". Oufff.

That statement was probably said to make me feel better but maybe because I am tired and therefore overly sensitive, but that was a blow to my esteem.

Maybe sailing really isn't my sport after all. Food for thought.

And you probably weren't avoiding me. I should stop thinking. Because thinking only makes the problem seem a lot bigger than it really is. Plus, what good does thinking about it do for me. Meh.

Good night world, sleep, please cure my bruises.

I Am Bruised

I am such an exhibitionist. In the bad sorta way. It often backfires on me. I should just keep quiet more. Must you be that obvious about avoiding me? Really? Okay. Fine.

I am tired. Barely had 5 hours of sleep. Got to Pattaya this morning, delivery from OM to Varuna and then training in what seemed like 15 knots of wind which was just crappy. Crappy spin hoist, crappy take downs, crappy jib trim. Crappy mark roundings.

My fingers are swollen too. Painnnn.

Anyway. It's not all bad. There's good things to it too. And that makes it all worth while. =)

Good times, good people.