Oh, And I Had Also Wanted To Say!

That I have got a freaking mosquito bite on my eyelid!

Because I Don't Feel Like Showering Yet

So, nobody wants to tell me what's happening for my birthday. Then again, no one ever tells me. But I guess that's the point.

I won't be surprised if there isn't a surprise this year. I won't be sad either. Sad is so yesterday. As for gifts, I can do without too, unless you are buying me a house.

What I would appreciate is a personal phone call or private messages about happy things and about good memories.

Really. I do mean it. I am a big girl now! =)

Eye Candies

(Warning: Today's title does not reflect the content in any way what-so-ever.)

Eye candies in the bus, was the bit of saving grace that sorta saved the day, and then the freak jam behind the Bangsar LRT just killed it over again.

Already this morning, I told myself, "Smile and even if the world doesn't smile with you, at least you've done your part". So that was how my morning started out...

Then it pretty much just flowed from meh to meh to more meh. One of those lacking inspiration days again. I think it's hormones at work though. So lately I have been a mix of angst, exasperation, boredom and emo, what a combo. Living time bomb I am.

Ironic how just a few posts ago I mentioned not being bipolar for a long time. I always jinx myself this way. >(

I also extremely hate not wanting to be alone but at the same time not wanting to be with anyone, anywhere. I know a lot of people experience this so it is by all standards - normal.

But the cognitive part of it irks me lah! Brain, why so fickle! Heart, cooperate with your friend!

Also, there's been a lot of sad news going on. An acquaintance almost got kidnapped, a good friend was 'attacked' in her home compound, a local celebrity was targeted by some strangers on the roads, a car crash out of nowhere; which reminds me, my car was bumped from the back WHILE I was stuck in the freak traffic, but because I have so much fear instilled in me, I didn't dare to get down to check and after a while, I just completely forgot about it.

What in the world is becoming of our population lah?

I don't think it's got to do with being careful, or being vigilant of our surroundings, or be humble in one's appearances and not flaunt our riches anymore. I think it's just scary now. It's just a matter of opportunity for all those scary, evil-minded, and humans lacking moral judgement out there. And this is a highly disturbing factor, for me at least.

While I dislike mean people very much, at least they mean no physical harm. That, I can still handle. But committing crimes is a whole new level, unforgivable at all.

The only bright side to this is that I can tell myself to be more patient with mean or nasty people because at least they are just people who are just being difficult.

I guess the bigger issue lies with, how do we keep ourselves safe from harm in the society of today. We can't live not trusting others, we can't live not interacting with strangers, we just can't live in fear and let them win by terrorizing the streets can we?

But what can we do? What can I do?
If only there were answers to these.

Dear people,

Whoever you may be, wherever you may be, whatever time of the day it is..

Please be safe, please stay safe.

Love.

Blue M&M

You Are a Blue M&M

You are an affable and likable person. You are a natural people-pleaser. You change your mind constantly. Everything ends up sounding good to you. You like to keep your options open, but your mind isn't muddled. You're a very clear thinker. You love people, and you're an optimist about everyone you meet. Friendship is important to you.

What Color M&M Are You?

Blogthings: Free Quizzes for Everyone

Because Knowing Why Wasn't Important Then

While I am generally not a very private person, I still don't typically let people get too close. So why did you let yourself out the door when I already allowed you to come in??

Not that knowing why now is of extreme importance. Just that I am curious now. Is it because my world is too eccentric or is it because I am too difficult a character??

You Are Quirky

You have a serious side, but you also can be uproariously funny. You love to laugh. You also love to play, and playing with you is an adventure. You're always changing up the rules of the game. You are a deeply introspective person. You are constantly examining yourself. You know who you are, and you're good with that. Too bad if no one else is.

The Petit Dessert Test

Blogthings: Waste Time at Work!

Watched In Time With You last night. Strictly speaking, I watched 2 episodes - the first and the last. LOL

It's kinda cute, the two leads are mega cute together as well! And it's not as long as most dramas, only 13 episodes in total but I reckon just watching the first and the last episode(s) is sufficient to get a pretty good idea of the whole show..

Great afternoon thus far, lunch at Rocky's after church and then Iced Cold Latte at Starbucks plus comfortable conversations, so therapeutic.

Alrighty, I should get working on my to do list before dinner tonight.. Bye for now! =)

HOPE

累了。。 希望我以后长大变大人，变老太婆的时候，会跟你不一样。。

不然我会很讨厌我自己。

You Should Be With a Fire Sign

Your best match is an Aries, Leo, or Sagittarius You like a partner who's intense and even a little dominating. You want to be seduced. There's nothing you like better than someone being completely and totally into you. You are not an easy one to catch, so you need a bold partner who is up to the challenge.

What Sign Should You Be With?

Blogthings: Learn Something Surprising About Yourself

Aries's, Leo's, and Sagittarius's, challenge??

Faster accept leh...

Just Care Less, Saves You The Effort

I mean, care less. As in, don't care so much. Not the clumsy careless.

When you least care about something, it naturally won't bother you. But when you do care about something, you naturally will end up harping on it thus causing more "grief" - for the lack of a more appropriate word, on your side. Right?

So just live and don't care so much lah. Easy..

But it doesn't work that way now does it?

You Are Complicated

You have many sides to your personality. You aren't exactly the easiest person to figure out. You are quirky and apt to contradict yourself. You are constantly evolving and changing. You have a unique take on life, and unlike most people, you're not too optimistic or pessimistic. You appreciate novelty and uniqueness. Most of your favorite things are acquired tastes.

The Smoothie Test

The First Rule of Blogthings Is: You Don't Talk About Blogthings

Yes, as a matter of fact, I do have a quite a huge amount of backdated quizzes that I've done but not shared.

De-cluttering ah, to channel some zen!

P/s: This is not emo lah please, this is a display of rage without actually harming anyone.

Why Am I Not Surprised

So stuffed from buffet dinner. So very full. The thought of lying down in bed now brings up images of food flowing out of my mouth. -__- Yes, that full. Dinner was amazing nevertheless, I haven't laughed so much in a long while! =)

On a totally separate note. While stories are, or can be, entertaining, some I just wish not to know. Because ignorance is bliss, because not knowing causes no harm. And sometimes, knowing but not having to hear it makes it possible to play it off as ones own imagination. But actually hearing it sorta kinda provides proof that it has some form of truth in it.

But oh well. /shrug

omgskirtissotightnowicannotbreathe

Blogthings says I am lightning..

You Are Lightning

Beautiful yet dangerous People will stop and watch you when you appear Even though you're capable of random violence You are best known for: your power Your dominant state: performing

What Type of Weather Are You?

Work is Hard. Time for Blogthings!

.. but I want to be a rainbow instead! Can I not?

Lol. Time to look for winners now! ;D

I Know I Say This A Lot

But time flies ah. It really does. I haven't been bipolar in a long while, at least there hasn't been such instances lately where it was so severe to be considered. None that I can remember lah at least.

It was Langkawi last year, then *bam* job, then *bam* Vegas, then *bam* resign, then *bam* China, then *bam* Miri-KK, then *bam* Thailand, then *bam* Singapore then *bam* new job, then *bam* Monsoon then *bam*... 2012 then *bam*

Today, we're almost half way through 2012 already! And the only reason I am bringing this up is.. /jeng jeng jeng

SO SMART YOU! :P

Because it is exactly 14 days (that's 2 weeks) away from the 5th of June!

I still remember vaguely sitting on the swing in the park once and crying, alone. For the life of me, I can't remember when exactly this was, probably 3 or 4 years ago, but I still remember why. Now that I look back at it, I wonder why I did, it's now just a memory that doesn't really mean much anymore, but it had hurt so bad then.

Moral of the story is, we're all creatures who live in the moment and for the moment, like it or not. Nothing wrong with that, but I guess sometimes we just have look beyond the now and see what lays ahead lah.

Dinner with Apple tonight, dinner with colleagues tomorrow, dinner with Apple again plus the rest on Thursday and supper with the girls on Friday. Hectic lifestyle!

Hahaha, okay lah, not really also, I just wish that my tummy stop behaving weird. 

Love Is A Gift

You Are a Unique Wedding

For you, love is rare and important. You consider love a gift, and you're know you're lucky for each person in your life who truly loves you. To be unloved would make you feel rejected. You love carefully and deliberately, and you take being loved in return very seriously. Romantic love makes you feel secure and taken care of. You take romantic relationships seriously, even in their early stages. When you're with someone, you tend to quickly build your own little world together. It's likely that outsiders don't truly get your relationships.

The Wedding Cake Test

Blogthings: We'll Tell You The Truth... Someone Has To!

Next Year

Die die also must do Langkawi in January.

Little Brother Said, "Jie's So Fat"

/piannng

That's the sound of my heart shattering into pieces, not that it was very whole to begin with, but yeah, uhu glue someone, quick!

Neh. Jokes aside, it's probably true, this weight game is terribad (my manager uses this word a lot, and so I am gonna tumpang now), it's a good thing that my focus now is not on being skinny, it never really was but when it's your little brother who makes such comments, you know it is time to cut down on those sinful indulgences. Oh dang, buffet next week some more!

Well, focus now really is to get in shape for the Mount KK climb in July. People keep saying, "But you're an athlete what! Should be easy-peasy for you!"

Eh people hello, how long ago was it that I WAS an athlete, even then - at my fittest, I was still weak lah okay! >( The more people say now the more scared I get. All these expectations and whatnot. Geez.

Anyway, today was also splurge day. Starting from this morning, bf was a hefty one at Starbucks - caramel latte and chicken toastie, then Mommy reloaded one hundred and twenty ringgit into my Starbucks card so I now own the Starbucks charm too. Then I went and did my hair, wash-color-cut and blow, so my hair looks I look pretty now too! Another two hundred plus ringgit fly. Then Mommy bought me my hiking shoes for KK too, another two hundred plus ringgit fly.

Mom says she'll sponsor my shoes, I think I should pay her back anyway. It's bad omen to buy people shoes! -___-

At the rate I am going, my salary isn't gonna sustain me for long. I also got into a minor car accident today, or should I say, my car got into a minor accident today, while I was at the wheel - my sense of humor isn't really making it today is it?

But yeah anyway anyhow, it felt like a pretty serious bump, but it was just scratches and nothing major. And I felt that we were both at wrong (the other driver and myself) so I didn't dare ask for compensation.

But anyways, on the bright side, there's always a bright side to things.. You'd think I would praise myself and have no proof to back that up? :D

Before

After

I actually cannot quite tell the difference, both also pretty like mad as a matter of fact, I think the before photo actually looks better. But yeah, I am really pleased with what the stylist did to my hair.

Sailing tomorrow, gotta remember to wear a cap to protect the hair. Gotta start using the hiking boots to break them before the actual climb, which reminds me, gotta break the new sailing shoes too.

Fatty bom bom also can be pretty thank you very much! /beams

Crazy People

I don't believe it. Still can't believe it. I must've been crazy too.

The Dispatch Uncle

This is a secret, rather was a secret now that I am sharing it with all you guys.

Today, I learnt that my dispatch uncle collects stamps. Either that or he's got someone he loves dearly who collects them.

My dispatch uncle at the office is an elderly man. He's one of the few people whom for some strange reason, I look forward to saying Hi! to everyday. He wears a cap all the time, he's quiet mostly, a man of few words. He carries his messenger bag with all our documents for internal dispatch everywhere he goes.

When he's happy, he'll announce our names if there are items for us in his messenger bag. Other times, he just moves around quietly, inconspicuously.

He probably is the only person who really knows who is in which department and where is every department located without referring to the staff directory.

My dispatch uncle reminds me of contentment. Being happy with life. Delivering what people need - happiness. It's funny how he reminds me of a certain warm fuzzy feeling that generates in the pit of ones stomach and then circulates around the whole body.

Today, I also noticed that my dispatch uncle's eyes were bloodshot red, when he very excitedly asked if I wanted the stamp which was on an envelope I received. I very happily gave it to him, but part of me grew worried...

Was he ill? Was he not feeling well? But I didn't ask. I felt it wasn't my place to ask.

He thanked me profusely for the stamp, which to me was nothing major. But it must have made him really happy. And that warm fuzzy feeling just came upon me again.

I told myself, if there's something, anything I can do regardless of how small or how big, so long as it puts a smile on someone else's face, so long it brightens someone else's day, I would do it.

Thank you Uncle, for teaching me that. =)

Girl Don't Cry, It Is Not Worth It

To begin with, I don't even know why the tears just came down. They just.. streamed down my face, despite how I wanted them to stop.

"Girl, you're supposed to have gotten stronger, you're supposed to have harden your heart, not become weak!" :'(

It's either that I am so angry that those were tears of anger. Or, that I am so disappointed that those were tears of disappointment. Or both. Explains why emotions just took over.

All selfish, idiotic, self centered, inconsiderate bastards assholes bitches people should burn in hell and die look into the mirror and ask themselves if they actually like who they are.

I think I am OK a person on average, and even then, I hate it when I fall short of my own "goodness" scale. I wish I could be a better person, and I try hard to do that (crap, the tears are coming again!), always trying and doing my best... and yet, often times I think I fail.

All these mean and nasty people, who do you think you are? Who are you that you can go around and behave so entitled?

I hate it. I hate it so much.

Maybe it's because there were so many instances of meanies and difficult people in the past couple of days that it's all coming out now. I finally cannot stand it.

WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE BORN SO DIFFERENT!

Even when I am in the wrong, I hate to apologize. But I have learnt that all wrongs, if possible, must be made right. And if that commands a "Sorry!", then I will have to say it and accept it. But I wasn't even in the wrong, and I apologized! I congratulate myself on my behavior, good job girl. *pats self on back*

Dear you's (all the meanies in the world),

I hope you know that you were being mean and nasty when you most certainly had no reason to behave that way. And I hope you know that in that whole exchange, one thing was proved - that good people win. I really hope that you don't treat others this way, because it only goes to show what you really are made up of.

People may give in to you, but that's definitely not the way to go on about life. You don't win friendships being like this, heck, it is not the way to win anything in life.

Love,
Ai

Monologue

Lappie is revived btw! =)

Are you sure?

I am pretty. damn. sure.

Playing with fire?

You really shouldn't.

Have you not learnt your lesson?

Whaaatttt!!

Really?

Fine.

What do you say when you don't know what to say?

LOL?

What about, what do you say when you don't want to say anything?

Just be quiet lah.

What if the other person keeps going on and on and on?

Well...

Maybe they should have a monologue too.

Hmm, that's a cool suggestion!

I know right.

You are awesome like that.

So true.

Nights people, sweetest dreams! =)

Hey, That's Not New

Mommy treated herself to a cruise. Explains why there's no Mother's Day celebration in our home.

Of course, with mommy being away, it means I get to use her lappie temporarily since mine has been sent for repairs which should cut me RM 280 more broke than I already am. But still beats spending 4 figures on a new one though the Zenbook is really, really pretty - but why does it not come with a DVD drive?!

Rhetorical question. I actually do know why.. It's the only reason why they managed to make it slim.

Also, as one could imagine, yours truly has been deprived of properly writing a post. Blogging on my phone is, very much a pain. But on the bright side, it forces one to select words wisely and focus only on what is important.

Anyway, there's no structure in this one. I've lost touch. LOL

The invite is open, it always has been. I do my part because I think it's my responsibility to do the very least. But if my efforts go down the drain, so be it, I am not one to force things my way and should I have done my part, I have said my piece. And you do what you please, I will respect that too.

This was a gift from a friend, I love it!
Love the color,  love the teddy!

The ladies from work, our Gadis Melayu Ayu day. I have come to really love this lot.
It's gonna be hard to say goodbye, I can already imagine..

A lot has happened really, the past week. So much that my brain doesn't register any new incoming sensory information. It wasn't all bad, of course it wasn't all glitz and glamour either.

I for one, am not a huge believer in happy ever afters. I am a huge fan of that concept but I do question if that does exist. Likewise, I want to see the good in everything, but when there's good, there's bad; when there's black, there's white (grey too); when there's nice, there's mean and nasty. I mean, there's so much to digest and understand and accept.

Maybe sometimes, there's just too much.

Hot Dipping Pool

Of course, there was that awesome weekend gateway @ The Banjaran Hot Springs with the Mommy too. The photos don't the place justice, trust me. Also in my defense, I am a little spoilt, and while I could get used to the luxury of all of this, I know.

Rawr. There's so much to analyze, sort, put meaning and perspective to... >(

I like my bling-ed nails and I want ice cream. 

Fresh Mint

Hulk: I am always angry! So cute. I want to date a superhero. Lots to think about over this weekend, mainly a lot to do with reflection. Mr Wombat & Domokun for company, vanilla tea with milk to warm the soul and Lucifer Effect to complete the night.

My Special Man

Is none other than my daddy dearest. The one who has put up with me all these 23 yrs and 11 months. The one who loves me all the same. Not less when I am a pain, and not more because of my successes. The same daddy who is always encouraging despite his weird ways. Thank you Daddy! Love you lots. And last but not least, happy birthday! <3

Today's Goal

Is to be a good person! =)

Bad Person

Don't know about you really. But I, have days like today. Days where I feel like I am a bad person. Or not good enough a person. Rawr. Turning heads. Meetings. Stairs. Numbers. What else?

Y U So Smart?

How is it that you read me so accurately? Scary. LOL. But thanks. You know what I mean. <3

Si Manja

Pinky is hurting. One of those invincible cuts. Foot cramps too. =(

It Has Been About 180 Days

I am such a child. Sometimes. Iwiuemm.

Life Is A Funny Thing

Don't you agree?

Epiphany

I think, maybe, perhaps.. I finally understand.

The Correct Question Is

What am I?

Sneeze, Sneeze, And Sneeze

Think I caught a cold. #damnit

Happy Labour Day

Happy May 1st. Thank you for all the hardwork! =)