Thoughts in Words

Blogger was being a bitch to me yesterday. Rawr. Glad its behaving today.

I have been thinking a lot lately. Whether good thoughts bad thoughts, I am not too sure myself. But definitely been working the brain a lot. Which really explains why I've been more quiet than usual. It probably also explains why I've been feeling tired (mentally lah).

Also, I find myself short circuiting a lot more than usual. I need to remind myself constantly to "not lose it". And I am fortunate to have people who keeps an eye out for me from time to time.

Honestly, I think I am blessed, in more than one way, which sometimes lead me to think: If I want more, is it greediness? Will I be punished for asking more? I should not complain. I should not demand. I should shut up, reflect and be merry.

Truth is, sometimes I question my own motives. I doubt my own capabilities. And true enough, I think it all branches out from the sense of insecurity, I don't trust myself as much I should be. I worry a lot about the whole karma issue too.

Thus, I feel felt lost, sesat-ed.

The reason(s) why I am telling the whole wide world this.

1. Because I know some of you people have sensed that something is wrong but because you respect my personal space, you have refrained from asking, and of which I thank you sincerely.
2. Because I have been pretty much an ass lately too, I am not using the above situation as an excuse, but.. this week is a self declared 'my/ai's week', I really couldn't find any extra energy to feel concerned for others, I tried, I just couldn't find the extra energy.
   

Another 2 and a half days to go for My/Ai's week. Bear with me till then, I'll be back to normal. Promise.

Anyways..

Apparently, yellow is the color most visible to the human eye (according to my table calender). It is also the color of ''imagination, cooperation, joy, happiness & intellect'' (Ai's table calender, June '09).

Wooot!! Good call for yellow yesterday ey?

Yesterday was a yellow mellow day. We must do this more often, makes me happy, I don't know if it made you any happier, but it sure worked for me.

The 'all you can eat Spag session' was fun! Actually, I think the presence of the camera made it all the more fun but yeah. The food was actually decent, the price lagi decent. It sure promotes obesity in the country, in my opinion! But once in awhile.. no harm lah kan? :)

Futsal & frisbee with the humans after Cross was good fun too. Those who decided to macho and go kaki ayam, lesson learnt lah. We shall all learn from their mistake and wear shoes when doing sports, *ahem* same goes for sailing too k! But apart from blisters / accidentally kick ball to other peoples' butt / immitating Ben the goalie stunts / kicking other humans legs / accidentally throwing frisbee at wrong target ie: human head (gulps, sorry Jeff!), it was all good.

That's why I say, with friends, life will never be dull.

With regards to the earlier part of the post, I am fine (if you're wondering if I am okay or not). I just needed a little more space to myself, just a lil more than usual.

I shall end with, Dear radio stations out there, please! Stop using the repeat function already!