I've got an hour to dinner and I really wanted to nap but them thoughts won't stop running in my head.
On an important note, I went back to PD for my high school reunion on Saturday evening and it was great to meet up with classmates whom I spent 2 years of my life with, but have not met for the past 10 years. The amazing thing that struck me was how little I remember of them, though the memories of being away from home and training everyday, and falling asleep in class are still vividly anchored in my head. I wonder if I hadn't made enough effort to make friends back then. Well, the beauty of such reunions is that you get to see how everyone is doing and then moving forward in life, you kinda get a sense of what you should do in life now if you want to see a difference 10 years from now.
1. I left my Strawberry and Passionfruit Eclair in the office refrigerator. Grr.
2. One more week to Boracay!
3. If you've not seen strong today, she's strong.
Kim Ja In
4. You see, the thing about me is that if you don't have the decency to tell me things that will affect me somehow or another, don't expect me to play nice with you next time either.
5. My current desktop wallpaper:
I am a cool girl too. No need for Echo Smith's Cool Kids!
6. If you want something bad enough, you'd do what it takes. If your life depended on it, you'd hang on till your fingers give out. If you don't try or if you don't ask, the answer will be a resounding no.
#wordsofwisdom
7. I like the feisty me. But sometimes, I too wonder where that part of me has gone to.
8. Must make dinner meals healthy meals.
9. I broke my necklace yesterday. It got stuck to my backpack so I yanked it and it broke. /sniff That's the second white gold chain I've managed to destroy, and the only chain that I have left.
10. Yesterday, I heard a short clip of them being interviewed on the radio and the question was, "What would your boyfriend's think about your celebrity activities?" And their answers were pretty quirky.
Sledgehammer - Fifth Harmony
Dinner better be good. Imma change into my shorts!
I knew I shouldn't have had that 13 slices of bacon. You see, I woke up really wanting to eat bacon and because Mom only buys things in bulk, the entire slab of bacon was frozen together and the only way to defrost them quick was to steam the entire packet, which is exactly what I did.
And I topped it off with an egg fried with a tonne of garlic. Nommms!
I am wondering at the circumstances of life. Or of things and situations. It's really quite a funny thing.
May the goat year bring lots of joy, happiness and good health to all of us! xx
My favourite pastime is to sit down at Starbucks for a couple of hours and to catch up on my reading undisturbed.
My favourite sensation is feeling all weak and achy but strong - I know it is contradictory but I also think people understand what I am trying to say, from a good workout.
My favourite food for now is Kyo Chon Korean Fried Chicken.
My nose is freaking itchy. And my face has been invaded once more by what I can only describe as unwelcomed guests. My room has been invaded by mozzies. I'm (somewhat) sleep deprived. I haven't been working out for 3 days in a row. I ate too much for dinner last night. I haven't been as supportive a friend to many of my peers as of late. And if I were to go on, I'd be able to find many many more faults..
It is easy to get bogged down by all the negativity. And I'm not even talking beyond myself as a person. I am tired of feeling sorry for myself. And only I can change that. And only when I am capable of being strong can I then help others. Or at least be of use to people.
So, today, instead of focusing on what's not right, I'm going to do the exact opposite.
1. Checking your email to see that your friend has sent you the entire OST of the drama she has zero interest in watching.
2. Your ex-class monitor sending you a personal text to find out when you are available to attend the high school class reunion dinner and you subsequently realizing that the date has been changed so that you now can make it to the reunion.
3. Being respectful towards family when you disagree with their opinion but by refraining from retaliating in an unkind manner.
4. Sending a "I don't want to get out of bed" text to your friend, to receive a reply that hits all the right notes.
5. This tune.
Auditory Hallucinations - Jang Jae In feat NaShow
6. Being disciplined enough to squeeze in a mini workout, no matter how short it was.
7. Coming home hungry to see 3 nuggets left on table, just the right amount of supper snack.
8. Just being able to be here, now, in this moment. To make things a little bit better, not matter how small, or how great, but to being able to.
Sudden urge to strut around in a tutu skirt. Only problem is, I don't own one. And, that I ain't three no more nor did I make it to become a ballerina.
Things I think about before I fall asleep.
Summit - Skrillex ft Ellie Goulding
Heard this when climbing the other day. I can totally imagine working out to this tune. Or just driving along a traffic-free scenic road, with the wind in my face and my shades on. And then stopping at a perfect spot to see the sunset. Perfection.
1. I think brown rice makes my throat a little sore everytime.
2. While I am glad to be working out more regularly, And hopefully am becoming stronger, there are two things that I dislike simultaneously. One, I am constantly hungry. Two, I keep getting tempted to buy more workout stuff. And the sports bra(s) I bought previously from Mizuno is now on 30%.
3. I think I am in need of a haircut. The hair just doesn't look/feel right.
4. Personally, I've been going through a strange phase, probably due to all the hormonal changes imbalance and whatever else. And I know that many of my friends too, are going through some tough and trying times. So the verse below encouraged me, I hope it does to you too.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
As it turns out, something must be wrong, but I don't know what, and therefore I can't fix it.
I had a whole can of sardine to myself for dinner, which I promptly stir-fried with cubed choy po (pickled vegetable) and it was really quite tasty.
Tomorrow, I'm gonna make myself an egg omelette with bacon for breakfast and also cook that salmon fillet that's been sitting in my freezer for almost a week for lunch at work, with brown rice that my maid's gonna be cooking for me because it takes 30 - 40 mins cooking time.
That much time is crucial beauty sleep time.
Don't Touch Me - Ailee
I don't want to sweat after I've showered, it irritates me that I end up with chores after I've cleaned up. I'm just gonna delay them to tomorrow.
I am really tempted to have some icecream, like really tempted to, but I did have 3 bars of Kit Kat at work today.. and I hadn't worked out much this evening either.
The soles of my foot are massively sore. I wonder if it has something to do with my shoes, or the way I do my skippy rope.
I can't read two books at the same time, I get confused and the storylines get mixed up.
Strawberry tea yums!
Now that I've changed the position of my table placement in my room - which was to allow for more space to exercise, the fan kinda blows at my hair from behind, and that too irritates me.
Today, I lost my temper because I was hungry and was made to wait for lunch. I'd felt bad that I got angry, and that I attributed it to the wrong people and things, I am sorry rubbish bin for kicking you.
And I used the f word one too many times. Not that I am proud of it. I wonder where all these angst is coming from.
I wanted a pink "Hello February" that didn't include little hearts, but a simple google search left me with the above as my best and quickest option. On that note, GOSH, IT IS FEBRUARY ALREADY!
I know I haven't been posting regularly (duh), but it's also because of the fact that I don't have as much traffic anyway. I totally track my readership if you don't already know. And I've been busy with work, the long weekend, and catching up on Dramabeans finishing my latest book purchase, Paper Swans - which I've just finished reading, which explains why I am back. For awhile.
I do suspect that this post is going to be somewhat of a verbal diarrhoea (diarrhoea being a word I never learnt how to spell despite my best efforts), I'll try to make it as reader friendly and keep things interesting, so soldier on if you're with me.
1. At some point within this post, I am gonna get up from my seat, walk to the kitchen and make myself a nice cup of tea with milk. And this reminds me that I'm out of Earl Grey.
2. The parking meter confuses me. Twice have I overpaid for parking when I deliberately counted my coins in the car before I walked to the meter to slot them in in exchange for my parking stub. But anyway.
3. My maid attempted to give me a compliment, which would otherwise have made me really happy if for the fact the she actually did see me. Except that it totally backfired when she claimed to have seen me at the mamak earlier while she was with her friend who proceeded to comment that the "Amoi itu sangat cantik".
4. I just peeled of my mask to realize that it smells kinda funky. (-__-) I really do not want to wash my face again.
5. Working out is really getting me worked out. I like the idea of becoming strong, through proper and regular exercising, but why the heck am I constantly hungry. And let's be honest, there's only so much healthy snacking you can do before you get so fed up at your still growling stomach and you eventually reach for the biscuits, chocolates and whatever else.
6. I keep getting this itchy sensation all over and I keep scratching. It's not that I've developed rashes or anything, but I quite literally keep scratching. At one point, I thought it was because my room had accumulated dust and I was getting sensitive, so I cleaned it out. Nope, still itchy. And then I realized that I'm still itchy when I am out. My nose in particular, is itchy all the time. If this is all part of the hormonal changes that comes with age, I finally understand why women hate aging.
And it is at this point that I decide it's time for my cup of tea.
7. And I return to my room with my cup of tea feeling rather disappointed with myself for forgetting to wash the doggie's waste tray after dinner earlier which I had gobbled down my esophagus because I was madness hungry. And proceeded to burn my tongue in the process too.
8. Have I also mentioned that I am aching all over from my personal training session with One on One Fitness yesterday morning? I swear I hate their scale - it basically produced a reading that was beyond my estimation and had also showed that my fat percentage was above the norm. What in the what. So I pushed myself a little more during my session and at some point, I am sure I tasted my breakfast in my throat.
The guilt of not washing my doggie's tray is getting to me so I'm gonna take another quick break to tidy it and come back to complete this.
9. I really wished my writing was good enough to earn me some extra income, and perhaps (if I count my lucky stars) it will someday be good enough to take me places. That'd be a dream come true.
10. People say first love's will always be the most unforgettable? I'm inclined to believe it, not in the "I wished it had worked out" manner, I'm pretty sure I'm over it. Though, however strange it may be, a big part of me can't help but get jealously annoyed when I see him liking none other than my own friend's posts. I mean, you were foremost my friend. Could it be that I'm just curious how we ended up drifting so far apart, I suspect I know why though. Ha. Youth and stupidity does go hand in hand.
11. My daddy has graciously bought me my very new PINK NOTE 4, which despite my excitement, will only be arriving after the Chinese New Year, what is a little delayed gratification though. I can wait.
12. I guess, some of my readers, if not all, are curious about how I am adapting to my new workplace. And I am not sure if I want to go into much depth about it yet, but I'll let you in on this bit. I was debating if I should clean my turquoise manicured nails before I went back to the office this morning, but they were so pretty I decided to just wing it and went to work without removing the polish. And at some point during the day, I had simply forgotten that my nail color was something I had been concerned about and when I went to pass a document to my ladyboss, she actually commented that it was her favourite color! So I guess colorful nails are a green light in the office, perhaps not when I have meetings lined up though. Note to self.
13. Also, twice have I managed to ask, "And you are?" to the big bosses/clients. HAHA! To be fair, under normal circumstances, my bosses and senior would do the formal introductions. But those were the few times I got isolated from the group and so happened to stumble unto the people who are technically the ones who are writing the cheques, sorta kinda. Unprofessional max.
14. Warm fuzzy feels are when I read a drama recap and come across a scene that makes me swoon. And I make a mental note that it doesn't even have to be super romantic, or grand. The simplest and smallest gestures often accounts for the most swoon worthy moments.
15. Also today, I heard of the passing of an ex-colleague. She was one of those whom I genuinely liked for I felt that she was really down to earth. And sweet. Lupus was apparently the cause. I thank God for having met her, and as it is whenever I hear about death these days, my default response (to myself and to others) is that, at least they've gone to Heaven. I'm not sure if I'm being naive to say that to everyone, but I think I really want to think so.
16. I haven't climbed in a long long while. I really should go back soon.
17. I also think I haven't been drinking enough water lately. I tend to only get thirsty when it is time for bed and because I think if I drink water before I sleep, it'll be water retention and it'll make me bloated the next day so I just go to sleep thirsty. That's not healthy though is it?
18. I fall fast, and hard. And then I fall out of love equally fast. My friends all say that it's because I'm always just infatuated with the idea of the particular person, which I can't really deny since it's always been true. I am just thinking that it's about time I learn to find a healthier balance.
19. The world is a cruel cruel place. I find much fault with that statement. I think the world is a pleasant place. The people are the ones making it ugly and painful. Everyday without fail, now that reading the news is a part of my work, I see news that I rather not know about. Obviously, ignorance isn't quite bliss at this point. Sometimes, I do wonder, Where is God in all of this, why is He allowing all this to happen. And why are people doing this to one another? How is killing an innocent person(s) the path to greater good? How do people buy into such a believe? It all seems just bloody ridiculous to me. All too strange and difficult to comprehend.
20. I'm reminded of The Lucifer Effect, a book which I tried to read many many times, but have not succeeded in actually finishing it. Maybe now's a good time to pick it up again. I wonder if it'll make me lose hope in humanity, or gain a better understanding about why things are the way they are. And if there's still hope for humankind.
21. I am getting tired, and feeling sad about the tone and direction this post is going. It wasn't intended but I guess it is on the forefront of my thoughts. It's hard to ignore it when it's so blatant. I've always been the type to avoid confrontation and would prefer to just live in my cozy bubble. Something tells me I'm still just that. Don't burst my bubble just yet, I don't think I'm ready.
Let me be my selfish self, until I no longer have that luxury, which will be when exactly?
I'm just gonna leave you all with this song, that I had playing in the background. Which resonated with me somehow.
I'm Coming Your Way - Jared Anderson
And that's a wrap, have a pleasant February y'all! x
