爱哭鬼

没人爱的小孩， 这不对。

该是 ，不懂得爱的小孩 。

还说 名字里有爱，

该 比较 懂爱。

这话 是谁说的？

Rejection & Failure

I don't take to losing, rejection and failure well.

Never did and it's still a hard pill for me to swallow at thirty.

But, life does have the tendency to teach you lessons one way or another.

I often doubt that I'm a good person. But at almost the same time, I don't think I am a terrible person. Maybe I'm just somewhere there in the middle.

And while being in the middle doesn't necessarily mean a bad thing, it's kind of like, you're not succeeding, but you're not failing either. You're kind of not losing, but not winning either. You're kind of being rejected, but being accepted all the same.

Why is state such a confusing state to be in. Being stuck in a rut, and not knowing the correct way out.

Fight Fire With Kindness Is (One Of) The Hardest Thing To Do

When life gets hard. Should you get harder?

Haih, so tired today. Because of pent up anger.

You know how sometimes you know that you're done for, but you still try your best to make sure all the players on the team know where they stand, but all the players just don't wanna play ball?

I felt like I was caught in that scenario today. So much for teamwork.

But then, I am not exactly proud of myself either. I could've handled the situation better. Why fight fire with fire. Everyone loses.

I just haven't quite figured out what else one can fight fire with when you've already tired every possible solution.

Guess if you've tried it all, then.. just burn lo and rest in the fact that you'd done everything you could.

Mhm. That sums up my day.

What Is Kaya Toast Without Butter

My Kopitiam breakfast set came without the butter. Otherwise, it may have just as well been perfect.

Your surroundings shapes what you become.

I never used to break my own soft-boiled egg. But I do now.

Tomorrow is the day of the big move. Packing continues today. Perhaps after the move, with the promise of stronger wifi at home, and lesser hours spent on the commute, I will write more often. I do love writing after all. I realised.

I love it when I select a random playlist and I hear that one song that I instantly heart.

Way Back Home - SHAUN (feat. Conor Maynard) [Sam Feldt Edit] 

It's like I'm dancing among the clouds. What a feeling!

Only One Winner

Doesn't matter how hard you try. And what effort you make. And the things you do. Nothing counts anyway.

Ultimately, only one person emerges as the winner, and it'll never be me.

Every Now & Then: Trust

The higher up you get, the more you need to trust. Trust yourself to continue to do the right thing despite the pressure and expectations. Trust others that they too would do the right thing. And just trust in that trust.

So much of trusting business going around.

I don’t know if I am capable of that just yet.

Having worked 8 years of my life thus far, all my roles have been relatively easy come to think of it. Considering the fact that I was mostly in charge of just me, myself and I, and of course the work that I was tasked to complete.

It’s kind of – you just do what you got to do, do it well, deliver results and enjoy the process while you can. And repeat.

And it’s only recently that I have started to observe what it is like to be a boss. Or a superior.

When the story is no longer about just you. But larger than you. When for a fact, there is no way you can know every minute detail of how things are done. Where things are kept. Who does what and you just got to believe and trust that the people given their roles will do what is needed of them.

And not just that, but if you have tension among the team, disharmony (which has to be common), or underperforming but good intentions folks, what do you do? Turning a blind eye is not an option, but trying to resolve every conflict is just bound to tire you out and what happens to real work then? Who fixes those problems?

Evil, lazy and opportunistic bastards should just be fired. Definitely. But what if the evil, lazy and opportunistic fox actually is capable of work, but is a moral and emotional threat to the cohort? What then?

It’s at this precise moment where you probably find yourself walking the fine line of doing the right thing. What is the right thing?

I’m just glad I’m not there in life yet. Worry when it is my turn, then again, worry is for fools. I ain’t no fool.

I’m just tired from the day. Every now and then, I just get home so tired, for no apparent reason. And I just want to crash.

At least today I managed some coherent thoughts.

Life At Thirty

Why this is an important photo.

Because in our university group of friends, the 3 of us are based in Singapore together, and last week we were gathered at the airport to send Ivy off to Warsaw with her husband for their new adventure.

Who would've thought this this day would come when we were cramming for Research Methods and whatever else just 8 years ago?

So guys, really, you can plan life all you want, but speaking from experience, life is far from what we predict so live it up, and come what may.

Don't forget to smile a little, be kind to others, and be brave.