The Weather Today Is Beautiful

I wonder how will I conquer today?

Watched On Your Wedding Day in the cinema yesterday. I enjoyed it, but the show kind of sucker punched me in the end by not giving me the happily-ever-after ending I was hoping for. Then again, I guess it's a matter of maturity, from a certain perspective, it was a mature adult like ending. Not getting what you want in the end doesn't mean it was not a happily ever after?

To go see sunflowers, or not to?

OH NO! How Now Brown Cow

I am barely halfway through March and I've already exceeded the amount I spent on food as compared to the amount I spent the ENTIRE month of February!

T__T

Singapore Log

I've been pretty discouraged the past few days, maybe the past week altogether. And I probably didn't realise it sooner because I am surrounded by a good bunch of people - I've made new friends, caught up with old friends, learnt new things, received help from various people and yet, I am still feeling this weird nonsensical feeling that nothing seems right.

Weird huh?

Over the past 2 consecutive nights, I dreamt:
(1) that I changed jobs
(2) that my landlady came to me to say, "You spend so long in the shower, our water bill has risen."

LOL

I've still failed to wake up on Sunday's to go to church on days that I actually can afford to go to church before work starts in the afternoon, just too tired, too lazy.

Maybe I am not prioritising well. I guess not.

I'm gonna have my breakfast, work some, think some (just some), ad hopefully get my act together so that this coming week will be a better one, in all the possible ways.

Have a great week ahead you all! x

Sève

According to Dictionary.com,

Word Origin
noun, French.
1. the characteristic flavor and body of a wine.

Seve - Tez Cadey

1. My new happy song - and I wanna shuffle like this too! #somuchwin
2. Severe bout of acne. I am googling potential causes and..
   
   

   

   So scary!

3. Please don't be either of the above. But there's has to be a cause - one which I can eliminate / handle / manage.
4. Not entirely sure if it's insomnia or endorphins from my (simply) workout or whatever unknown matter that is keeping me awake.
5. Really should just go roll in bed and try to get some shut eye.

Night night! x

Where Do I Stand?

1. My wisdom tooth is aching.
2. My acne is still bad, but I think it's slightly more under control now.
3. My trainer is leaving, which leaves me to train under a new coach.
4. I need to force fed myself with water, and more water.
5. I need to pack my dive bag, except that it's not so much of a dive bag since, I've got no gear at all.
6. Sometimes, I wonder to myself, where would I be if things in my life were a little different from what they are?
7. I have a loooooong night to go, if I plan on presenting something concrete in InDesign by tomorrow.
8. Today, while sending my grandpa to his church, I ate a salmon bento (for breakfast). And by the time I reached my church, I had successfully finished the whole bento.
9. Went climbing on Saturday, jelly arms. But good fun!
10. Doggie is still not well; appreciate all your prayers.

It's Official

Author on a long break! 

But in the meantime.

Conversations | In Three Parts

Number One | Goodbye Fried Rice

Coach: What did you have for lunch?
"Fried rice"
Coach: So.. next time don't blame the machine when it takes your reading.

(-____-)

Goodbye fried rice.

Number Two | Work 24/7

Friend cum colleague: Do you work all the time?
"No"
Friend cum colleague: So, after 6pm means no more checking work emails and you completely shut down from thinking about work?
"Pretty much.."
Friend cum colleague: You should probably train yourself to think about work as much as you can. Then you're always learning, and you will also appreciate your free time more.

I didn't agree completely. But it is food for thought.

Number Three | At My Chiro Session

Doctor: Good, well done..
"... I really didn't do anything"
Doctor: You're relaxed, which is a good thing. Helps us to do the adjustments better.
"Okay"
And then I proceeded to ask how old was my doctor.
Doctor: Guess?
"... Thirty?" Younger. "Twenty seven?" Wrong. "Twenty five?"

At this point, I was thinking to myself, SERIOUSLY! How young can you be?

Doctor: Twenty four.

Cracking my bones at twenty four, and a doctor. That's something.

I'm twenty seven soon, and what am I doing with my life?

Now You See Me, Now You Don't

Hello there!

I am very much alive. Just tired. Not too sure why either. Can't be the lack of sleep - I've been sleeping tonnes. Can't be stress either - I'm certainly not. Can't be that I've over-exerted myself working out - I've definitely not. That leaves me with one possibility, which coincidentally would also explain the very bad case of acne, and oily scalp. It's hormonal.

And that said, it's just going to be something I'm gonna have to learn to outgrow, or worse yet, live with. No! No! No!

/denial

I was starving after Bible Study and was thinking of what I was going to eat when I got home. And tadah, God answers prayers. There was a piece of KFC sitting in the kitchen totally waiting for me when I got home. Which is definitely better than the peanut butter cream cheese sandwich I was thinking of making myself. And this is a bad example of God answering prayers, but I'll be thankful that I got to eat nonetheless.

P/s: KFC. Definitely comfort food.

On hindsight, maybe neither were great options. But I guess that makes up for my broccoli filled lunch and tea. I did forget about the venti iced green tea latte from Starbucks I had post lunch.

Right. I forgot. The hunger pangs too. Omnomnomivore.

In any case, I'm off to complete my diving license this weekend! Joy joy.. 

Hot Chocolate Craving

I'm better off just going to sleep.

#TGIF

Why Is My Computer So Slowww

When I am extremely tired, I don't write, because I'm just too tired to. When I am moderately tired, that's when the problem comes. Thinking, followed by more thinking, and then it doesn't end.

I had planned to go for a run earlier, but it poured right after I got home and changed into my sports wear. There's still some daylight now that the rain's over. But I'm lazy now.

A part of me is pleased for not buying the items I really liked from Sports Direct earlier. But another part of me keeps thinking about it.

I've been craving sweets all day today. Had some icecream just now, but perhaps because they've been in the freezer for so long, wasn't yummy. Expired icecream if I may.

Boiled orange sweet potato. It really isn't as yummy as the purple ones. Need to go stock up on broccoli and milk, someone helped finish my 2L milk carton which was only bought yesterday - it's a first this household finished milk so quickly!

And because orange sweet potato wasn't very sweet, I made myself a 3-in-1 Nescafe. And I did exercise a little in the confines of my room. But I also did fall asleep on my mat mid way through. Hahaha!

Spotify Premium woooooot yeah!

P/s: Highly doubt that run will take place.

An Open Letter

Dear you,

I believe it's okay to complain once in awhile, let's call it, a way of letting go. You vent. Done. Move on. Be happy. But if you have a constant need to complain about everything and everyone under the sun, and you're not going to end there, then my friend, you're in for a sad and miserable life. That much I can assure you.

I understand that everyone has a particular agenda in their lives that they're particularly proud of. Mine would be the fact that I sail - and it bumps my cool factor up a couple of notches every single time. However, you can only be talking about that one thing this much. Anymore than that, your bragging rights turns into something that, for the lack of a better word, is no big deal.

And life is more than just one thing. Really. Explore. Don't limit yourself. Look beyond.

Nobody is less important than you are. So respect them, their time, their everything. Unless they give you reason(s) not to. Then don't bother. But you don't have to be mean and un-polite about it. In all that you do, try to be the bigger person, you'll realize that you've got so much more to gain even if ultimately the situation does not favour you, you know you've done the right thing.

It should never be about one upping another person, to show the world that you're better. It's about you being proud of you. Always.

What is honesty? You tell the truth. Who are friends? People whom you need to be honest to. But the truth can sometimes be painful. And friends are not the people you want to hurt. Ironically, I just noticed hurt is in word truth.

So what do you do?

Sincerely,
Ai

Hello February

I wanted a pink "Hello February" that didn't include little hearts, but a simple google search left me with the above as my best and quickest option. On that note, GOSH, IT IS FEBRUARY ALREADY!

I know I haven't been posting regularly (duh), but it's also because of the fact that I don't have as much traffic anyway. I totally track my readership if you don't already know. And I've been busy with work, the long weekend, and catching up on Dramabeans finishing my latest book purchase, Paper Swans - which I've just finished reading, which explains why I am back. For awhile.

I do suspect that this post is going to be somewhat of a verbal diarrhoea (diarrhoea being a word I never learnt how to spell despite my best efforts), I'll try to make it as reader friendly and keep things interesting, so soldier on if you're with me.

1. At some point within this post, I am gonna get up from my seat, walk to the kitchen and make myself a nice cup of tea with milk. And this reminds me that I'm out of Earl Grey.

2. The parking meter confuses me. Twice have I overpaid for parking when I deliberately counted my coins in the car before I walked to the meter to slot them in in exchange for my parking stub. But anyway.

3. My maid attempted to give me a compliment, which would otherwise have made me really happy if for the fact the she actually did see me. Except that it totally backfired when she claimed to have seen me at the mamak earlier while she was with her friend who proceeded to comment that the "Amoi itu sangat cantik".

4. I just peeled of my mask to realize that it smells kinda funky. (-__-) I really do not want to wash my face again.

5. Working out is really getting me worked out. I like the idea of becoming strong, through proper and regular exercising, but why the heck am I constantly hungry. And let's be honest, there's only so much healthy snacking you can do before you get so fed up at your still growling stomach and you eventually reach for the biscuits, chocolates and whatever else.

6. I keep getting this itchy sensation all over and I keep scratching. It's not that I've developed rashes or anything, but I quite literally keep scratching. At one point, I thought it was because my room had accumulated dust and I was getting sensitive, so I cleaned it out. Nope, still itchy. And then I realized that I'm still itchy when I am out. My nose in particular, is itchy all the time. If this is all part of the hormonal changes that comes with age, I finally understand why women hate aging.

And it is at this point that I decide it's time for my cup of tea.

7. And I return to my room with my cup of tea feeling rather disappointed with myself for forgetting to wash the doggie's waste tray after dinner earlier which I had gobbled down my esophagus because I was madness hungry. And proceeded to burn my tongue in the process too.

8. Have I also mentioned that I am aching all over from my personal training session with One on One Fitness yesterday morning? I swear I hate their scale - it basically produced a reading that was beyond my estimation and had also showed that my fat percentage was above the norm. What in the what. So I pushed myself a little more during my session and at some point, I am sure I tasted my breakfast in my throat.

The guilt of not washing my doggie's tray is getting to me so I'm gonna take another quick break to tidy it and come back to complete this.

9. I really wished my writing was good enough to earn me some extra income, and perhaps (if I count my lucky stars) it will someday be good enough to take me places. That'd be a dream come true.

10. People say first love's will always be the most unforgettable? I'm inclined to believe it, not in the "I wished it had worked out" manner, I'm pretty sure I'm over it. Though, however strange it may be, a big part of me can't help but get jealously annoyed when I see him liking none other than my own friend's posts. I mean, you were foremost my friend. Could it be that I'm just curious how we ended up drifting so far apart, I suspect I know why though. Ha. Youth and stupidity does go hand in hand.

11. My daddy has graciously bought me my very new PINK NOTE 4, which despite my excitement, will only be arriving after the Chinese New Year, what is a little delayed gratification though. I can wait.

12. I guess, some of my readers, if not all, are curious about how I am adapting to my new workplace. And I am not sure if I want to go into much depth about it yet, but I'll let you in on this bit. I was debating if I should clean my turquoise manicured nails before I went back to the office this morning, but they were so pretty I decided to just wing it and went to work without removing the polish. And at some point during the day, I had simply forgotten that my nail color was something I had been concerned about and when I went to pass a document to my ladyboss, she actually commented that it was her favourite color! So I guess colorful nails are a green light in the office, perhaps not when I have meetings lined up though. Note to self.

13. Also, twice have I managed to ask, "And you are?" to the big bosses/clients. HAHA! To be fair, under normal circumstances, my bosses and senior would do the formal introductions. But those were the few times I got isolated from the group and so happened to stumble unto the people who are technically the ones who are writing the cheques, sorta kinda. Unprofessional max.

14. Warm fuzzy feels are when I read a drama recap and come across a scene that makes me swoon. And I make a mental note that it doesn't even have to be super romantic, or grand. The simplest and smallest gestures often accounts for the most swoon worthy moments.

15. Also today, I heard of the passing of an ex-colleague. She was one of those whom I genuinely liked for I felt that she was really down to earth. And sweet. Lupus was apparently the cause. I thank God for having met her, and as it is whenever I hear about death these days, my default response (to myself and to others) is that, at least they've gone to Heaven. I'm not sure if I'm being naive to say that to everyone, but I think I really want to think so.

16. I haven't climbed in a long long while. I really should go back soon.

17. I also think I haven't been drinking enough water lately. I tend to only get thirsty when it is time for bed and because I think if I drink water before I sleep, it'll be water retention and it'll make me bloated the next day so I just go to sleep thirsty. That's not healthy though is it?

18. I fall fast, and hard. And then I fall out of love equally fast. My friends all say that it's because I'm always just infatuated with the idea of the particular person, which I can't really deny since it's always been true. I am just thinking that it's about time I learn to find a healthier balance.

19. The world is a cruel cruel place. I find much fault with that statement. I think the world is a pleasant place. The people are the ones making it ugly and painful. Everyday without fail, now that reading the news is a part of my work, I see news that I rather not know about. Obviously, ignorance isn't quite bliss at this point. Sometimes, I do wonder, Where is God in all of this, why is He allowing all this to happen. And why are people doing this to one another? How is killing an innocent person(s) the path to greater good? How do people buy into such a believe? It all seems just bloody ridiculous to me. All too strange and difficult to comprehend.

20. I'm reminded of The Lucifer Effect, a book which I tried to read many many times, but have not succeeded in actually finishing it. Maybe now's a good time to pick it up again. I wonder if it'll make me lose hope in humanity, or gain a better understanding about why things are the way they are. And if there's still hope for humankind.

21. I am getting tired, and feeling sad about the tone and direction this post is going. It wasn't intended but I guess it is on the forefront of my thoughts. It's hard to ignore it when it's so blatant. I've always been the type to avoid confrontation and would prefer to just live in my cozy bubble. Something tells me I'm still just that. Don't burst my bubble just yet, I don't think I'm ready.

Let me be my selfish self, until I no longer have that luxury, which will be when exactly?

I'm just gonna leave you all with this song, that I had playing in the background. Which resonated with me somehow.

I'm Coming Your Way - Jared Anderson

And that's a wrap, have a pleasant February y'all! x

Dedication To Our Nation

Safe & Sound - Taylor Swift ft The Civil Wars

Our country has been hit with several devastating incidents this year. With three aviation related crisis that took many lives, not to mention those left behind to deal with the grief. And with the flooding that is currently affecting thousands of lives.

It's a lot to stomach for us as a country and while I often joke about my country and sometimes even ridicule about this land with others, all the above really has nothing to do with the administration of the country. They were natural disasters, and accidents that no one would've hoped for. Sure, things could've been or can be, handled more effectively, the bottom line though is, it is not the fault of Malaysia that planes go missing, or gets shot down, and that people are robbed of their homes because of the torrential downpour. Or is it?

And where do we stand as a citizen in the midst of this all? I know I am sitting comfortably in my room, typing this out word for word on my laptop while drinking an iced cold Sprite. So I write about things, and I express how I feel, and list expected behaviours, but am I doing anything about it myself? No. So I too, am guilty as charged.

Will I do anything about it then? I don't know. Truth be told. What can we do? To help out with the flood relief efforts, you can check out these alternatives. As for the rest, our prayer goes out to them.

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound