People Who Want To Be There, Will Be There

I am a little under the weather. But I am just glad this virus is only attacking now and not while we were racing in Langkawi last week.

I wonder if I'll be better after sleep?

Anyway. In line with the theme of needing to belong and accepted, to be liked, I realised that my general well-being the past couple of weeks have much to do with my little new year resolution.

There was this one incident in 2018 that had left a nasty aftertaste in my thirties. Long story short, I concluded that if a friend is too busy to make time for me, then so be it. I wouldn't need their friendship anyway.

At the end of 2018, I decided that well, it's a new year, it's time to forgive, forget and plus, it's not like I've been a perfect friend either. So, I made a mental note that I will put in more effort to keep in touch and/or spend time with people I've conveniently and some I strategically lost touch with.

So when 2019 came along, I embarked on a mini get-in-touch-with-friends-I've-lost touch-with project. I texted several friends and out of 5 people, probably 3 people hadn't responded to my attempts of getting in touch.

I admit, I was super bitter about it and really did question myself - Did I offend them? Did I wrong them without realising it? Have I done something I should be apologising for? If not, why are they not responsive to me?

And yes, I have an innate need to be liked, so, people not responding to me, I took as rejection and this surprisingly affected me more than I would have liked.

But today, I came across a revelation. It occurred to me that some people, even if you wanted them in your life, they don't. People have to want to be in your life before it can happen. And you just can't force it.

Some people will come, linger and go. That's fine.

Some people will not come, even if you tried. And that's fine too.

The bottom line is, people who want to be in your life will make that effort to be there.

There's really no use second guessing.

So, I have decided to not mop over those people who have decidedly not reply my messages, who have for whatever reason decide that I am not worth their time.

I am at peace and it's okay.